Forget the Promise, Keep the Secret
by ChuBerri
Summary: Deidara has a secret to keep. Sasori has revenge plotted. How well do they know each other? Is love enough to keep the secret and forget the promise?    Infused with lyrics   Rated M because they do the nasty. Juuuust sayin :D
1. Track List

_**T**_rying a different style.

_**H**_ere is a list of the Artist → Songs appearing in the story, in order.

_**T**_he lyrics are not in order in the chapters.

_**I **_do not own the characters.

_**T**_hese are some of mii favorite songs…

_**I**_f you like the song, be sure the mention that. Nice to see other fans.

_**E**_njoy

▼**Skillet → Hero**

▼**Pierce The Veil → Caraphernelia **

▼**The Spill Canvas → All Hail The Heartbreaker**

▼**Search The City→ Detroit Was Built On Secrets **

▼**You Me At Six → Take Your Breath Away**

▼**Something Corporate → (Hurricane) The Formal Weather Pattern **

▼**Snow Patrol → Chasing Cars**

▼**Emery → Studying Politics**

▼**Breaking Benjamin → Dance With The Devil**

▼**Every Avenue → I Forgive You **

▼**Hoobastank → The Reason **

▼**All Time Low → JaseyRae **

_**Q**_uick Facts

↑ _Skillet → Hero_ inspired the entire story

↑ _Search the City →_ Possibly my favorite band. One of them

↑ _Emery → Studying Politics _was actually the first chapter I wrote for this story.

↑ _All Time Low → JaseyRae_ is my favorite chapter

_**I**_ do not have the entire story wrote, but I do have the outline. Therefore, updates will come quick. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it


	2. Hero

▼Skillet → Hero

_**It's just another war**_

_**Just another family torn**_

"Art is a blast, un." Were the only words that fluttered through the cold night air just before the buildings and homes nestled in a small, unimportant village were blown into fragments.

With a smirk, the bomber watched the scene until all that was left were a few flames, licking at the air. With a self appreciating laugh, he surveyed the scene, not quite ready to leave his newest masterpiece.

The aftereffect of the bombs was almost as beautiful as the explosion itself. The flames that licked the houses, the smoke and debris falling, crashing, drifting. It was a rush of action, one that no human, not even a ninja, could create so perfectly without help.

The lone figure patted the bag on his hip. Help, in the form of clay, was all he really needed.

There had been no screams, no cries for help. Because no one could live through that.

_**I've gotta fight today  
>To live another day<strong>_

In the midst of the burning buildings, a single figure crawled from the rubble. He pulled himself just clear of the flames, out of the danger zone, and collapsed. He was sweating from that simple exertion. He willed himself not to sleep, knowing no one would wake him.

He rolled on his side and watched his home burn. As he watched every memory he had, everyone he knew, everything he was use to burn to the ground. Not a single tear left his eyes.

His lungs felt like they, too, were on fire. He struggled to suck in air, choking and coughing on the smoke and dust.

_**I am just a man  
>Not superhuman<strong>_

Fire danced in his eyes, burning this memory into his mind. He could feel the smoke closing in on him. He knew that he was still too close. That his luck was running thin. He knew he would lose everything here. Everything, including his life.

_**It's just another kill  
>The countdown begins to destroy ourselves<strong>_

The artist saw the man crawl out of the building. "Impossible." He whispered, throwing clay into the air. Whispered words and a soft swoosh of air, and he was flying on a white bird, easily landing next to the man.

With a smile, he drew out a kunai. Killing this struggling human would be so easy. Too easy.

He crouched down, studying the figure like a scientist in a laboratory. Muddy brown eyes returned the look with disinterest before falling shut. His chest rose and fell slowly, with no pattern. His mouth was parted in small gasps, and he clutched at his shirt, as though the clothing was the reason he couldn't breath.

_**I'm just a step away  
>I'm just a breath away<strong>_

The dieing man was fighting to suck in air. His body was seized in pain. He knew he would die here, die a failure.

_**We're in the fight of our lives  
>And we're not ready to die<strong>__  
><em>He turned, found himself staring up into crazed blue eyes. He had never seen this person before. Who was he? Was he here to kill him? Or was he already dead; was this his guide to the other side? No. He wasn't ready to die. He willed himself to speak, but no words escaped him.  
><em><strong>A hero will save me just in time<strong>__  
><em>The bomber watched the man in front of him, something telling him not to kill the other male. With a sigh, he lifted the man, settling him on the white bird. "Don't try to talk, un." He commanded, jumping on behind him. With quick motions, they flew into the air, flying steadily south. Without another word, the destroyer deposited the male in a nearby town, where he was sure to be found and helped.

Without another thought, he jumped back onto the bird. "I hope we never meet again, un. Next time, I will kill you." He disappeared into the night while the dieing man felt his eyes shut.

He knew he was safe, he knew he would live.


	3. Caraphernelia

▼Pierce The Veil → Caraphernelia

_**I'll be the fire that'll catch you**_  
>He lay, half awake. His body begged for sleep, but he couldn't find it. His mind was still whirling. Nights ago, he had narrowly escaped death and what had he done about it? Nothing. Actually, it was completely not his own fault he was still alive. What could be said about that? Nothing. Because he still hadn't found his voice.<p>

He rolled over, coughing lightly. The smoke had done a number on him, the medic has said. He'd be fine, in a matter of time. Time, which would be spent laying here, breathing slowly, and waiting. He shouldn't be here. He should be out there, finding that murderer. The one who had ruined his village and then…saved him. Why? Out of cruel pity? As a test subject? Was he sitting in a building somewhere, focusing on the curtained window, watching him suffer? Would he come later, once he was healed, to finish the job?

_I won't let that happen_. His eyes felt heavy. _I will kill him myself._ He exhaled slowly, inhaled just as slow. _I will find him, if it's the only thing I do with my life. _Somewhere, there was a loud snap.

Sasori sat up, coughing. What was that? What was this? Smoke filtered past through the doorway. He stumbled to the wall, sleep hazed eyes stinging at the smoke, watering. He reached the door, jerking away at the heat. What was going on?

He kicked the door open, stumbling back as flames reached towards him, hungrily crackling.

He tripped on the bed, seating himself hard. The flames didn't mind their target freezing. They danced closer, luring him. Their bright colors promised pain, their smoke clouded his mind. The heat washed over him.

He couldn't move, couldn't breath. No one would save him this time.

The flames grabbed him, searing his skin. He cried out in agony, jolted up.

His breath was heavy, his body stung. A dream. It was all a dream. Yet his skin felt raw, he could feel the pain. His body was covered in perspiration. It had been so real.

_**What's so good about picking up the pieces?  
>What if I don't even want to?<strong>_

Sasori stood at the top of the hill. From here, he could clearly see the black rubble that was him home. Ninja had come and scouted the area. No survivors, they had reported. None, no one. Except for him.

"Still mellowing in your own pity?"

Sasori whirled around at the uninvited voice. "Who are you?" He snapped.

"I say we kill him. What's the point of him, he's just a whiny brat." A second voice, menacing, offered.

"No, that is not what Leader wants." The first voice responded calmly, stepping forward.

"Who are you?" Sasori repeated. Perfect, not only was he homeless, untrained, without weapons. He was now going to have to face this idiot in a cloak with…Were his nails…purple? Suddenly, the situation wasn't so intimidating.

"Uchiha," The male nodded at him. "You are Akasuna no Sasori. Now, come, we don't have time to sit around and chat. You can come willingly, or we can force you."

"Uchiha?" The name rang familiar. Sasori shot a backwards glance at the ashes of his once-home. Why did he have to stay for? "Lead the way,"

_**Licking your fingers like you're done and  
>You've decided there is so much more than me<strong>_  
>"That's all? We had so much faith in you, give it more. Give me more."<p>

"I'll come over there and kill you if you don't shut up." His voice was dead serious as he glared at the blue skinned fool.

Kisame shrugged, leaning back against the wall. "You didn't say you wanted to train in privacy."

"Well, I do."

"Uh, too bad." Kisame shrugged. Sasori. The boy was slowly losing his patience. He hadn't seen him smile since he'd arrived. Kisame was fond of Sasori in the way he was fond of his favorite cup. It was nice, handy, but not the best in the world. It had potential, though. Sasori, not the cup.

Sasori ignored Kisame, lashing out with kunai laced with poison. The moving dummies failed to dodge the attack. Some exploded from the inside as the poison proved too advanced for their mock circulatory systems.

Kisame stood. "Break time," He walked from the room without waiting on a reply. The truth was, Sasori was skilled. Beyond skilled, really. He'd make a great assassin, how quickly and silently he moved. He was the thinker, that was sure. He needed a partner, though. And Kisame had a creeping feeling that he and Itachi would be chosen to be the messengers again.

As if on cue, he was interrupted by a suddenly appearing half black, half white, half plant person.

"Leader wants to see you, Kisame." Zetsu informed him politely. "**And you better hurry up, he doesn't want to wait**," He snapped, and then disappeared.

Sasori watched them disappear, a slight frown crossing his face. This wouldn't bold well for him, and he knew it. He hadn't failed to notice that all the other members worked in pairs. He knew what this meant for him.

He made his way back to the room, the smell of wood chips and chemicals greeting him. He dropped on the bed. He was tired of being here, tired of this life. Something had to change. Soon.  
><em><strong>You're learning how to taste what you kill now<strong>_  
>Soon happened, and he wasn't let down. Zetsu arrived in his room shortly after he heard Kisame and Itachi leaving. Zetsu didn't send him in to see Leader, simply informed him he had a mission and left.<p>

Sasori stood with a frown, gathering his weapons and preparing himself. The mission was, decidedly, a short one. Not too far away, less than a days walk. The sun shone on his back as he set out. He forced all thoughts of a partner from his mind, instead focusing on the coming mission.

Although many people felt he had no personality, he simply internalized everything. It was one thing to tell your parents about your day, another to tell a friend or acquaintance about how one boy managed to kill your entire village. And, since he couldn't do the first, he would simply do neither.

The sun was setting as the village that was his destination loomed into view. His mind turned back to the missions, and he slipped into the shadows, studying the layout.

It was only necessary to kill one person, the leader of a small clan.

Sasori could see him, in the window. How easy to slip in, to slit his throat, to leave. They would never know it was him. Even simpler, he could stay where he was. One well aimed kunai, and the clan would find their leader poisoned, unable to be saved.

A small smile crossed his face. Better yet, one kunai, and they would find their leader's insides, but they would never find their leader.

He faintly remembered something in the information on the clan that said this leader possessed ninjutsu that could prove useful. He would make the perfect project.

Without further thoughts, Sasori flung the kunai, following it silently with his eyes, before following it with his body. He sealed the leader of the clan in a scroll and straightened. Without a trace, he left the village. If he was quick, which he would be, he could be back at base before sun up.  
><em><strong>Nobody prays for the heartless<br>Nobody gives another penny for the selfish**_  
><em>He could have at least let me preserve the body.<em> Sasori glared at the scroll before shoving it in the bag. Three days, and it would be useless. Beyond saving; not that he would waste the time saving it anyway. He had better things to do with his time than save bodies that weren't all too useful anyway.

His feet moved without thought, and he quickened his pace in annoyance. He hadn't been back at base three minutes when Zetsu appeared again. It was one thing to overload them with missions when they were important, but this mission, like that last, was overtly simple. It was a matter of killing a person, in this case several people, without being noticed.

He frowned. Killing a small clan, that was what this mission was. He wasn't impressed with the idea. Surely, there were some members of the clan who could be useful. More useful than just their bodies turned into puppets. But Leader wasn't hearing it. He had issued the mission and expected it to be completed in a timely manner with no questions or comments.

That was exactly what Sasori intended to do, anyway. He wouldn't have objected if Leader told him to kill half the world. He knew that the people Leader sentenced to death were more than deserving of their fates. In his eyes, they were all the vaguely remembered boy from his past.

Idiots, the lot of them. They lived just outside of a small village, just far enough away to hide any screams that they should make. No defense would come to save them. Arrogance, seclusion, this is what it got you.

He easily flung three poison laced kunai at the guards at the door. They toppled over without a complaint. He removed a scroll from his cloak, a serious of hand signals. Summoning Jutsu; no reason to exert himself, he could have the puppets do all the real work.

He could see the people inside, scurrying around, trying to defend themselves. Clearly, they were surprised at the idea of an attack at their base.

He scoffed at them. Greedy, selfish, they were the heartless. Raised in a village and deserting it because they felt too good. That alone was enough of a reason to kill them. Arrogance to that degree, he didn't much care for it.  
><em><strong>None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole<strong>_  
>As he watched, a young girl ran from the house.<p>

"Please, stop!" She begged, falling in front of his feet. "Spare me, please!"

He stared down at her, a frown on his face. "You? There are others in there, still alive. You are a ninja, why are you not defending them? Does unity mean a thing to you?" His own thoughts were swirling in his head. He knew something was going on back at base, that would be the reason for these simple, almost pointless missions. He wanted to get back as soon as possible, not toy with some wrench that begged for her life rather than fought for it.

"Please, I've never harmed you."

He squatted down so he was face to face with her.

"Is that so?" He frowned. "Are you certain?"

Her eyes were wide with fear, and she clutched at his cloak. "Please, Mister,"

She never finished her sentence. The kunai sliced across her neck easily, red beads appearing. She released his cloak, falling over on her back. Her wide eyes fell half shut, as she faced the sky.

Sasori wiped the kunai, returning it to his pouch as he recalled the puppets. A quick search of the base revealed more dead bodies, none living.

Without a backwards glance or a second thought of the actions, he headed back to base.  
><em><strong>What if I can't forget you?<br>I'd better learn to live alone**_

While he walked, he recalled all the bodies to his mind. None of them looked like they could be the person from his past. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that he didn't even remember what that person looked like. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that the mission was pointless. He wouldn't be able to find him.

That wasn't the way to think. He wasn't giving up.

He would find the boy. He would kill him. And his goal would be complete.

Base loomed into view, and he entered to no greeting. He made his way down the hall when Zetsu appeared.

"Did you finish?" He was half out of the wall. "**Master wants you."**

Sasori didn't reply to Zetsu, but turned and made his way down another hall. Two knocks and he entered the room.

"Sasori, I have a present for you. In your room, you will find your new partner. I expect him to live. You will not find it necessary to train him."

Sasori sighed softly, but didn't object.

"Dismissed."

That was it, no name, no information. Great. This would be exciting.

"Who are you?"

"I should ask you the same, Brat, seeing as this is my room."

The male standing over his desk had long blonde hair and shockingly blue eyes. He wore fishnet and rather revealing clothes. His robe was draped on the spare bed.

"My names Deidara, yea." He smiled.

"Sasori," He arched a brow. "I expect you to leave my stuff alone, Brat."

"My name isn't brat, un," Deidara frowned.

"Listen, I've had a long day. I'm going to bed. I expect you to shut up."

Deidara didn't respond, dropping onto the other bed.

Sasori slid off the robe, tugged off his shirt, and added his pants to the pile of clothes. He tugged the blanket up and settled down. When he closed his eyes, flames danced on his eyelids.

"Welcome to the Akatsuki, yea," He heard Deidara whisper to himself from across the room. "Home, sweet home," The sarcasm in his voice was evident.

Sasori almost felt bad for the boy, he knew what it meant to have no home. But he didn't want to care right now. He rolled on his side, sighing softly.

He was just starting to like being alone, too.


	4. All Hail The Heartbreaker

▼Spill Canvas → All Hail The Heartbreaker

_**I wouldn't want to go messing anything up  
>So don't go worrying about me<strong>_

Deidara eyed the target, an annoyed sigh escaping from his lips. "I've been doing this every day for nearly a month, un."

His partner gave no reply, focusing on the wood carving.

Deidara, certain that Sasori was paying no attention to him, placed his kunai back in its pouch.

"No one told you to take a break, Brat." Sasori didn't look up.

Deidara heaved another sigh. "I've already proved I can destroy all of those dummies, yea. I don't need training."

Sasori finally looked up, the wood carving dropping onto his lap. "I was told you wouldn't need training. I was also told to not let you die." He stood, gathering his items. "Which do you think is more important?"

Deidara heaved another sigh. "Sasori no Danna, un, I can protect myself."

Sasori made a small disagreeing noise and disappeared down the hall.

Deidara kicked at the ground before turning back to the dummies. With renewed vengeance, he began throwing kunai, his palms itching for the familiar clay. He'd show Sasori he could make it, that he didn't need this training. All he needed was a chance to prove himself.

_**I will breathe in a moment  
>As long as I keep my distance<strong>_

"Are you tired already, Brat?" Sasori glanced up as Deidara walked into the room, dropping onto his bed without removing any items.

"Just need a moment, yea," Deidara groaned. His muscles were yelling in exhaustion.

Sasori arched a brow as the room fell silent, and glanced over to see his partner sleeping. Just under a month, he'd been working with Deidara. They'd only gone on a few simple missions, and Deidara did more watching than actual fighting. Sasori wasn't about to let the Brat die on his watch. He kept pushing him, training him despite the blonde's obvious skills. Maybe he could make the Brat quit, simply walk away from the assassin life. Not that anyone could walk out on the Akatsuki. Maybe he would request a change of partners. He could lurk around with Zetsu.

As if hearing his name in Sasori's thought line, the half plant appeared from the wall.

"Sasori, Leader wants to see you." Zetsu started to morph away. "**And take Deidara with you."**

Sasori stood, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He knew from previous training excursions, the Blonde was not a morning person. He leaned over Deidara, hesitating. With his eyes shut, his mouth not running for a change, he looked almost…peaceful.

Sasori shoved the thought from his mind, grabbing one of Deidara's shoulders and giving it a gentle shake.

Deidara rolled over, clutching at Sasori's hand and drawing it to his face. He nuzzled his face against it, murmuring something incoherently.

Sasori jerked his hand away, surprised by the action.

His motion woke Deidara, who sat up quickly. "What are you doing, un?"

"Waking you, Leader needs us."

Deidara grumbled about watching him sleep and trying to put moves on people as he crawled from the bed and hurried after Sasori. His muttering fell silent as they stood outside the door. He swallowed and shot a look at Sasori.

Deidara had only been in Leader's room three times, never actually seen the man. He wasn't afraid of him, in a fearful sense. He just negatively anticipated when these meetings would happen and what would come from them.

Although he grew bored of sitting around base, missions weren't a highlight for him. He dreaded hearing they would have an impossible task. Although, with Sasori, few things seemed impossible.

Sasori grabbed for his wrist, jerking him into the room behind him.

"Making me wait, Sasori," The voice drifted from the shadows, sounding cold. "That's not in your style."

"Maybe if he hadn't been so busy watching me sleep, yea," Deidara whispered under his breath, receiving a dark look from Sasori.

"I have a mission for you," Leader ignored Deidara's words. He launched into a description of the assignment, this time complete with information on the targets.

Sasori rushed from the room the moment he was dismissed, hurriedly gathering his things from the room. Deidara followed him in less of a rush, grabbing his clay and yawning.

"Let's move, Brat. If we're fast enough, we should be back in under three days."

"Or we could casually stroll along, enjoy the day…" Deidara suggested, shutting his mouth when he received a glare from Sasori.

Sasori left the base at a steady pace that Deidara hurried to keep up with. Concentrating on footfall, they fell into a silent step with each other.

_**And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck  
>To everything you are <strong>_

"That's the target. Can you see the window with the light?"

"I could just make art of the entire place. Mission complete, un," Deidara grinned.

"Art? I don't think a freeze frame of the place is what Leader has in mind." Sasori groaned.

"Freeze frame, un?" Deidara shot Sasori a questioning look. "We could make it explode, yea,"

"Explode? Brat, that's not art."

"Art is fleeting, No Danna, it is too art,"

Sasori tore his eyes from the layout before him. "Are you serious? Art is eternal, everlasting."

Deidara almost laughed. "Eternal? What part of that is art? Art should be fleeting, a whisper on the wind, un. There and gone, leaving only fading memories."

"What would be the point of that?" Sasori pressed his lips together to bite back the insults that choked at him. "Art is eternal. To gaze upon everyday, to spend each and every day studying it, finding its new secrets."

Deidara grinned. "You're silly, No Danna, yea"

Sasori arched a brow. "That's hardly a retort, Brat. Let's say I win this one."

"You win only if I can make art of the building."

Sasori almost smiled, but caught himself. No amount of training was going to keep Deidara alive forever. The Brat was head strong and rash; it was a matter of time before he was injured. Or worse. There was no need to start bonding. He wasn't looking for friends. But, even after their argument, he could feel something similar… A slight stirring for the blonde. He gazed into the visible blue eye and shrugged.

"If you want, Brat, but it's not true art."

Deidara shot Sasori a dark look. "Wait until you see it, un. Then you'll know what true art is." He crept closer to the building, his hands disappearing into the pouches.

Sasori watched the blonde, silently keeping cover and making sure Deidara, who seemed to be trying to make himself seen, wasn't spotted and killed.

He waited, expecting the explosion, and was mildly surprised to see Deidara turn and hurry back to him.

_**What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams  
>Maybe then you'd know how I feel<strong>_

"Change your mind, Brat?" He hissed, frowning. This would mean he'd need a new plan.

"No, Sasori, un, I just wanted to see your reaction." Deidara crouched down next to Sasori. "I want to watch the explosion reflected in your eyes. To see it as you do. And so I can be the first to witness your fall when you realize how wrong you are about art."

"Brat-" Sasori was cut off as Deidara flashed a few hand signs and signs and whispered a word that was lost to the wind as the building in front of Sasori exploded.

Flames danced against the sky, smoke raising from them as the building spit pieces of its foundation at random angles.

Deidara stared at the muddy brown orbs, watching the flames dance in them. They were vibrant against the night sky, and more so against the dark color of the puppet's eyes. Deidara moved slightly closer, careful not to block the scene from Sasori.

"Brat…" Sasori whispered, finally tearing his eyes away from the fire to glance at Deidara. "Are you satisfied?"

Deidara nodded, a smiled gracing his face and making his eye sparkle. "It was fantastic, wasn't it, un? You should see it when the wh-" He stopped abruptly, turning away from Sasori to stare at the destruction.

Sasori didn't press any more questions, simply allowing his partner to enjoy the mistake of art. He wasn't willing to call the explosion art, but he could understand how the blonde was drawn to it. It was…inspirational.

Deidara threw Sasori a grin over his shoulder. "Better do a body count and make sure we got all the right ones before the ninja arrive from the next village, un."

Sasori nodded, following Deidara down to the scene.

_Maybe he doesn't understand real art_, Deidara thought to himself as he called softly the description of a dead ninja._ But the emotion in his eyes at the explosion…_He let his thoughts trail off as Sasori called the last name out.

Mission complete.

_**I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways  
>My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days <strong>_

"But Itachi went with Kisame after their mission for sushi!"

Sasori growled, setting the wood down. He had already splintered his first piece attempting to hold a conversation with Deidara while working. It was obvious he couldn't do both.

"We never do anything, un," Deidara whined.

"We go on missions," Sasori turned to face the blonde, who was draped dramatically across his bed. "We train." He had to admit, that didn't sound like the most exciting social life.

"Come on, Danna, just once," Deidara whimpered.

Sasori opened his mouth to reject the idea, but paused. _Danna?_ _He dropped the 'no.'_ Shaking his head to clear the thoughts, Sasori stood. "I've said no, Deidara, go by yourself."

"Sasori," Deidara whined, drawing his name out. "If you go, just this once, I'll be real quiet and let you finish your puppets,"

Sasori frowned. "Fine, Brat, grab your cloak."

Deidara bounced off the bed. "Really, No Danna, un, you mean it?" He asked, excited.

Sasori shot him a threatening look. Dinner didn't require that much excitement. "Yes, Deidara, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well, yes, No Danna, un," Deidara tugged on his cloak. "I wasn't prepared for you to say yes, is all."

Sasori rolled his eyes. If he had held out a moment longer, the brat would have left him alone.

Deidara smiled brightly, chatting on about what restaurant they would go to and what he wanted as he led Sasori from the base.

Sasori dropped the money on the table and stood. Deidara followed him from the diner.

"That wasn't so bad, was it, un?"

Sasori shrugged, unwilling to answer. Deidara had been a little less talkative during the meal, but had still kept up a pleasant stream of chatter.

_Pleasant?_ _Since when is that Brat pleasant?_ Sasori mentally shook himself.

"Sasori? Oh, you must be tired, un," Deidara fell silent, his footsteps timed with the puppet master's. "You've been staying up late working on those puppets," He spoke as the base came into sight. "You should go to bed when we get back. I'll be so silent tomorrow; you won't even know I'm there. So you can finish your puppets." Deidara nodded at the stars.

Sasori arched a brow at the bomber. "What is it you want?"

Deidara looked surprised. "Who said I wanted anything?"

"Dinner? A bedtime? Peace? They sound like you're preparing me for something." Sasori shot Deidara a look. "Whatever it is, the answer is still no."

Deidara shrugged. "Whatever, Sasori, un."

They entered the base, heading to the room silently.

"Goodnight, Danna, un," Deidara called softly as he slid under the blankets.

Sasori sat on his bed, the blankets around his lap, not actually laying down. "Goodnight, Brat,"

Deidara lifted himself onto his elbows. "You're suppose to go to sleep now,"

Sasori opened his mouth to tell the brat off, but instead, slid down into the bed.

Deidara smiled at him from across the room. "Goodnight."

_**So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures  
>And overanalyze your words<strong>_

Deidara's soft breathing floated across the room to him. In, out, in, out. He whimpered softly in his sleep and the bed creaked as he rolled over. In, out, in, out.

Sasori sat up, glancing over at the blonde's bed. He had his back to Sasori, curled in a ball. The blankets had fallen to the floor.

Sasori slid out of bed, silently crossing the room to pick them up. In swift motions, he covered the blonde, sliding the blankets up around his shoulders.

Deidara stayed in the ball, clutching at the blankets. He whimpered again, and Sasori wondered what he was dreaming of.

He grumbled incoherently in his sleep and rolled over, his hair spread over his pillow like a sea of blonde waves.

Sasori brushed a stray strand from Deidara's cheek. He was half puppet, but he could still feel the soft skin under his finger tips. The glossy strands drifted from his fingers and he shook himself from the trancelike state.

He stood, returning to his bed. He shot Deidara a dark look from across the room, as though the blonde had caused his actions.

_Come on, Danna, just once__**.**_

Sasori shivered, laying back down with his arms crossed under his head.

_Danna_.

Deidara's voice taunted him.

_I'll be real quiet_.

Sasori groaned, rolling over again. Deidara had merely meant he wouldn't try for any dumb conversations while Sasori was working. He hadn't had any hidden meanings. But, out of context, it almost sounded like Deidara was offering to keep a secret.

_Danna._

Sasori rolled his eyes at himself, running a hand down his face. Deidara had made him go to bed early to get rest. So he could actually get something done tomorrow. Yet, he'd stayed up past the normal rate. With his thoughts on Deidara.

He shut his eyes, trying to force Deidara from his thoughts.

He drifted to sleep thinking of the blonde.

_**I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes  
>To a whole new world that had since been in disguise<strong>_

"I know you murdered my family, blew apart my entire village," Sasori's face was twisted in disgust.

_This is a dream, this is a nightmare. Wake up, wake up, wake up._ Deidara's voice was panicked, echoing loudly in his own mind. His heartbeat was racing and he could feel sweat forming on his body. This was too real to be just a dream.

"You think I'm going to let you live?" Sasori scoffed.

Deidara was paralyzed with fear. He couldn't move, couldn't talk. This was it. Sasori had found out the one secret Deidara had hidden. The only thing he couldn't tell him. And now, he'd have to pay.

"Kill me," Deidara whispered. "I'll be glad to die at the hands of the one I love."

Sasori didn't even blink at the words, his cable unwinding and stabbing the bomber in the chest.

Deidara's eyes flew open. His heart was pounding, he was covered in sweat, and the blankets were twisted around his ankles. But he was alive, blood free, and secret safe.

_I'll be glad to die at the hands of the one I love._

_I don't love Sasori No Danna._

The two sentences ran through his mind at the same time, and he knew he was lying to himself. Maybe he hadn't been in the Akatsuki for long. Maybe life was throwing him every curveball it had. Maybe he wasn't sure of much of anything anymore.

But he knew two things.

He was hopelessly, desperately in love with Sasori Akasuna.

He needed to talk to someone.  
><em><strong>What's the point when my dreams are infected<br>With words you say**_


	5. Detroit Was Built On Secrets

▼Search The City → Detroit Was Built On Secrets

_**But don't be afraid,  
>Your secret's safe with me<strong>_

"You fucking what?" Hidan's nearly shouted.

"Shut up, yea." Deidara frowned. "I don't want anyone to know!"

"He's going to fucking kill you." Hidan stated matter-of-factly.

"I need to go to someone better for advice, un."

"Come on, Blondie. I'm not gonna fuckin' tell him. But maybe you should."

"Tell him I destroyed his entire village years ago, yea?" Deidara hissed. "Do you want me dead, un?"

Hidan tilted his head, as though thinking, then smiled. "Nah, Blondie. You shouldn't tell him. He'll never find out, anyway."

Deidara shook his head. "This is hopeless,"

"Why does it matter so much? You could always just kill him." Hidan nodded. "Jashin would approve."

Deidara shook his head again. "No, yea. I can't kill him. Sasori is…"

"Right behind you, Brat. What's this talk about killing me?" Sasori leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

"How long have you been there?" Deidara was on his feet, whirling to face his partner. His heart was pounding, hands ready. If this came down to a fight, he would have to kill Sasori.

"About the hopeless part," Sasori tapped his fingers. "Brat, I wouldn't suggest killing me."

"I don't think any fucker suggests killing themselves." Hidan pointed out. When he received glares from both boys, he threw his hands up. "Just fuckin' sayin'." And he left the room.

"I have no intent of killing you, Sasori."

"And that talk was…?"

"Complicated," Deidara crossed the room. "Don't kill _me_ for it, yea," And he left Sasori standing there confused.

_**You must have missed me,  
>'cause you don't have a thing to say every time I go away<strong>_

"Sasori,"

The puppeteer looked up at the sound of his name. He was still sitting in the common room.

"Master wants to see you." Zetsu was half out of the wall. "**Don't keep him waiting. **He's a lot like you in that aspect."

Sasori nodded and stood, Zetsu morphing back into the wall as he walked from the room.

"Pein," He knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for a reply.

"Prompt as usual. I have a mission."

Sasori nodded, waiting for the rest of the details. The shadows seemed to swirl, but Pein didn't appear.

"There is a ninja collecting information on us, again. The name and images are in that scroll,"

Sasori took the scroll from the table.

"He has information that even you do not. I suggest you leave soon, take Deidara, and assassinate him before he leaks the information."

Sasori nodded. Faintly, he wondered if he could twist the words and assassinate Deidara as well, since that was almost what Pein said. It would remove some of the headache.

"Dismissed,"

He left the room, reading the scroll as he walked to his room.

Deidara looked up, almost excitedly, when Sasori entered, but said nothing.

Sasori finished reading the scroll before glancing at his partner. "Get ready, Brat, we're leaving."

Deidara nodded. "Anything fun, yea?" By fun, he meant a chance to use his art.

"No, assassination," Sasori was over at his work table.

Deidara frowned.

Sasori arched a brow. The brat was being more quiet than usual, but he didn't question it. Maybe this would be a peaceful mission.

Deidara watched Sasori leaning over the table, biting his lip slightly. He knew Sasori had gone to Pein's room, and was grateful it had been a quick trip. He always worried that Sasori would get lone missions, which wasn't often, but not unheard of. He hated when Sasori left without him. What if something happened to him?

"You have ten minutes. Don't make me wait," Sasori turned and left the room.

_**So this is what we're up against  
>in this city of secrets<strong>_

"Did you hear about that mission for Deidara and Sasori?" Kakuzu glanced up from the pile of coins in front of him.

"Fuck yea, you know what Pien is doing." Hidan frowned, dramatically throwing himself on the bed.

"What is he doing?" Kakuzu went back to stacking the coins in easily counted piles.

"That fucking collector, he knows about Deidara's past. About Sasori's village going up in flames," Hidan rolled onto his side, watching his teammate. "Jashin damn him if they don't kill him before he lets that slip."

"Him who," Kakuzu frowned at the religious male. "It's a matter of which two. If he lets it slip, only one of them will come back alive."

"Way to stay fucking positive." Hidan rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. "I was just started to like that fucking boy, too."

"Thinking about replacing me?"

Hidan smiled. "Fuck no,"

Kakuzu fell silent, a soft smile on his face. Maybe the boy swore too much, and had an obsession with what you couldn't see, couldn't profit from, but he was something else. Something that Kakuzu didn't want to go without.

_**This city was built on secrets,  
>it's where all the good ones come from<strong>_

"Deidara, took you long enough. I hate to be kept waiting." Sasori frowned at his teammate.

Deidara shrugged. "I was busy." He replied shortly, offering no more information.

"Just don't let it become a habit, Brat. Let's go,"

Deidara followed Sasori as they started walking. He didn't want to go on another mission, but he had been getting bored.

"Can't we fly, un?"

"No,"

"Sasori, I don't want to walk the-"

"Save it, Brat." Sasori interrupted.

They walked for a few minutes in silence.

"Tell me a story, yea."

"No."

"Come on, Sasori."

"Just shut up Deidara," Sasori snapped out, his patience wearing thin. He should have known the brat's silence wouldn't have lasted long. He could forget about the peaceful idea.

"Tell me something interesting, un," Deidara persisted, playing deaf to Sasori's wish.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"Oh, I know, tell me about your life before Akatsuki."

"Do you have selective hearing?"

"Tell me about being The Great Sasori, yea."

"Or are you just an idiot?"

"I just want to know..."

Sasori exhaled heavily. "It's not important, Deidara."

Deidara glanced at the puppet master from the corner of his eye. Sasori rarely called him by his name, so this must be serious. He let the conversation drop, walking beside his partner in silence.

"When I was little, someone blew up my village. Much like your style of fighting,"

Deidara was pleased that Sasori decided to talk, but at the comparison, his heart started racing. Sasori knew.

"Sas-"

"You wanted to know. Shut up and listen." Sasori stared in front of him, his pace slowing so the blonde could stop hurrying.

"It wasn't a month after that, a matter of days, really, when Itachi and Kisame came for me. I joined the Akatsuki. I wanted to get stronger, to keep my vow to kill that person. A small part of me wanted to just belong somewhere." He sighed softly. "I was scared. Being homeless, I didn't have family, no where to go. You can't imagine the feeling."

"I can, yea," Deidara murmured, kicking at the ground with each step. That cleared any questions. Sasori would kill him if he knew.

"Tell me, Brat." Sasori was back to the emotionless tone, that soft voice disappearing within him.

"My village hated me, yea. These hands, they cause nothing but trouble." He held his hands in front of his face, examining them. They seemed to mock him, maybe to emphasize his story. "I just wanted to make art-"

Sasori snorted. "Opinion of art,"

"Whatever, yea," Deidara didn't want to argue about art. He didn't want to argue. He didn't even want to talk. He was still hurt, angry about his village. He closed his eyes; he could almost see the explosions in his head, the village going up in flames. They deserved that, the whole lot of them. They wouldn't judge him ever again.

Sasori fell silent. He knew there was something Deidara wasn't telling him, but he didn't press.

_**They'll sink their teeth in  
>if you let them catch you<strong>_

They walked in a comfortable silence, the landscape changing around them.

"He is in a cave, on the border," Sasori slowed his pace. "Cloak your chakra, he's near."

Deidara did as told, his hands reaching instinctively to the clay bags.

"Looks like he's out for a casual stroll, why don't you give him a show?"

Deidara glanced at Sasori to see if he was serious, his mouth hands already chewing up the clay. Swift movements formed the wet clay into tiny spiders, that spun from his hands and scurried across the grass.

He and Sasori hid between trees, watching as the spiders skittered up the man.

He appeared to be older than the two, wearing a plain cloak. He had no ninja band on, that they could see. His black hair was cut short, showing a weary, scarred face.

"Why don't you come out?" He called. "You can't hide your chakra from me."

The two followed his wishes, stepping in front of the man.

At first, he looked startled, then slightly frightened. Then, as though a thought had crossed him, he started to chuckle.

"What's so funny, yea?" Deidara was itching to explode the bombs now.

"It's just so odd that the two of you would be a team." He was still laughing.

Deidara frowned, looking over at Sasori.

"Why would you say that?" Sasori was frowning as well. He didn't like to be questioned, and he didn't see any joke about him and Deidara.

"Your leader has a sense of humor, obviously. Why, putting you, Sasori Akusuna, with the very person who-"

Sasori hadn't heard the whispered words from Deidara, but the blown body told him he had spoken.

"What was he talking about?" Sasori asked, already turning away from the blown form.

"I don't know, yea, but I thought we were on a time limit." Deidara fell into step. "It was nothing important, I'm sure."

_**Are we done raising hell?  
>This time we'll keep the best ones for ourselves<strong>_

"Can we rest?" Deidara had been unusually quiet the walk back, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"We could make it back tonight." Sasori objected.

"The stars are best here, un."

"If you want," Sasori knew something was bothering the brat, and he didn't want a moody teammate.

Deidara settled on the ground, Sasori copying the motion.

After a few moments, Deidara lay down, hands under his head.

Sasori leaned back on his wrists, staring up at the sky. "You were right, Brat."

Deidara didn't reply, his eyes on the distant sky.

Deidara sat up, studying his partner's profile. The gentle slope of his nose, his parted lips looked soft. His chest rose and fell in a steady pattern, comforting to the blonde.

"Sasori," He whispered, thinking the puppet was asleep.

"Yes, Brat," His voice was soft.

Deidara hesitated. "Do you…you know…like us…as a team?"

Sasori sat up, twisting around to face Deidara. He was a lot closer to the bomber than he had thought. "What makes you ask?"

"You never say. And even that idiot questioned it. Maybe you should be on a team with Itachi, yea."

"I couldn't stand Itachi. He's too quiet, but you could learn from that. Itachi and I are too alike in style, the precision and automatic of our attacks. We wouldn't make a proper team, Brat. Do you doubt us?"

Deidara shook his head, exhaling the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "I just…" He paused, something about Sasori's expression making him stop.

_**And don't you dare be scared with sins to bare,**__  
><em>_**'Cause this is who we are**_

Sasori studied Deidara's face. He was so close. If he just leaned forward slightly… His lips would meet the blonde's.

He shuddered. The reaction he would get from Deidara.

"Sasori…"

He held back a smile. The way Deidara said his name…No, Itachi wouldn't have this effect on him. He didn't want any other teammate. But it was best not to dwell on these feelings.

"Good night, Brat." He settled back down, his eyes on the skies once more. The stars winked at him, almost prompting him to return to his teammate. He tried to force Deidara from his mind, but with the blonde so close, it was impossible. He could hear the gentle breathing. Staring at the stars, he let the scene that he wanted to happen play in his head. If only imagining things could make them happen.

He rolled onto his side. When he was completely a puppet, he wouldn't have these feelings.

_**We'll all steal looks when we can,  
>Driving by the accident,<strong>_

"How is it coming along, you and Deidara?"

Sasori remained emotionless, but he couldn't help questioning this. Pein showed no obvious interest in the other teams, or how they worked. Didn't he know best, after all? Wasn't he certain in his own choices?

"That was a question." Eyes glared from the shadows.

"Deidara is overactive, harsh, and quick to make a scene." Sasori replied. "I'll admit that he has his own skills."

"And you like him as a partner?" Pein asked.

Sasori gave a start. "Are you implying-" He realized that Pein couldn't actually read his mind, and had no clue as to his thoughts of Deidara. "Yes," He replied simply.

Pein overlooked the half stated question. "Good. You're dismissed."

Sasori turned on heel and walked out of the room.

Pein smiled to himself. Of course, Sasori would find out in due time. Until then, he would let bonds form. It was nice to see emotion in that boy.

Sasori walked back to the room, slightly annoyed. Pein must be up to something, but he was far from guessing what.

"Oi, Sasori."

"Hidan," Sasori frowned at the vulgar male.

"How's Deidara?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Sasori replied abruptly.

Hidan bit his lip to refrain from the string of choice words he wanted to use on the fellow assassin.

Sasori took his silence to mean the conversation was over, and continued on the way to the room. Deidara had been there long enough; they could talk to him if they all cared so much about his state. Couldn't people hold a conversation with him that didn't concern the bomber? It was like they all had a hidden agenda with each other, and he was the only one who didn't know.

_**But I don't want to be the reason they find you out  
>Somebody's got it in for you<strong>_

Sasori glanced around the room. The blonde wasn't in there. A frown crossed his face, but he noticed the shower running. Well, he wasn't too far.

His mind wandered to the idea of walking into the shower room, simply joining Deidara. It was a rash idea, something that Deidara would do.

No, Deidara wouldn't join another male in the shower. Sasori shook his head, trying to clear out all the random thoughts. This made no sense to him.

He crossed the room, dropping onto his bed.

"Don't you normally have work to do, un?" Deidara stood at the foot of the bed, a towel in one hand, shirtless.

Sasori pried his eyes from his partners chest and shrugged. "I don't feel like it."

Deidara scoffed. "You don't _feel_ like it? What's wrong, un?"

Sasori arched a brow. "Nothing is wrong, Brat, don't ask questions."

Deidara shrugged. "Okay, Sasori, un," He pursed his lips, as though thinking. "At least the mission was successful."

"Maybe," Sasori rolled onto his side, watching Deidara cross the room. The muscles under his skin flexed slightly as he stretched. "I would have liked to know what he was talking about,"

Deidara swallowed nervously. "He was talking to save his life, yea," He tugged an undershirt on. "He just wanted to delay his death,"

"Do you really think that, Brat?" Sasori didn't know why he was continuing the conversation; he could have ended it already. Or not have started it. Normally, he wanted silence. Yet, he enjoyed Deidara's voice. At least, for the moment, he did.

"Why wouldn't I, yea?" Deidara asked, drying his hair with the towel before tossing it towards the bathroom door.

Sasori sighed. "Why I have to room with the slob," He asked the air, rolling back onto his back as Deidara crawled into his bed.

"Good night, No Danna, un,"

"Shut up, Brat," But his voice was soft, and Deidara smiled at the shadows.

But as Sasori waited for sleep to come, he couldn't help but run back over the mission. Leader said that the man had information that he wouldn't know…Maybe the man would have revealed the information? Deidara wasn't normally so rash to act, and so suddenly… He had a feeling there was more to it than the blonde was letting on. As the shadows stretched, he began to devise a plan to find out these secrets.  
><em><strong>We can really be some devils,<br>And these stories have a way of telling themselves**_


	6. Take Your Breath Away

▼You Me At Six → Take Your Breath Away

_**Have you had, had your day?  
>Move close, and I'll push you away<strong>_

Deidara stood in the doorway of the room, watching Sasori. He knew Sasori was aware of his presence, in the same way one was aware of the sun's rays or the gentle breath of wind. It made no difference to Sasori if the other male stood around, so long as he was quiet. However, in typical Deidara fashion, silence wasn't what he planned.

"Sasori, hm,"

Sasori sighed, not looking up from the current puppet he was working on. "The temptation to talk was too much to bare, Brat?"

Deidara shrugged, crossing the room to peer over Sasori's shoulder. The sight proved both boring and repulsive, so he turned away, sitting on his bed. "When is our next mission, un?" He stretched out on the bed, locking his arms behind his head.

Sasori glanced over at his partner, his eyes running over his body once before returning to his work. "Why don't you go ask Leader?"

Deidara almost laughed at the words. He may not have been in Akatsuki as long as the rest, but he knew better than to interrupt Leader with questions when he wasn't invited. "I'll wait for Zetsu to show himself, yea,"

Sasori shrugged, hoping that the lack of response would show an end to the conversation.

No such luck. "What was life like before you joined Akatsuki, un?"

Sasori sighed, placing his utensils to the side and pulling out a scroll. "I owe you no stories, Brat,"

"Sasori," Deidara rolled on his side to watch his partner. "I've been here for months, un," He drew out the words slowly, emphasizing each as though that would display just how long. "I know nothing about you, yea,"

"Isn't it better that way?" Sasori sealed the half completed body in the scroll. "I would rather not know about you. When you die in combat, I don't want to pretend to care."

The words were sharp and biting, and, although Deidara told himself he should expect such things and not think too much into it, he couldn't help but feel hurt.

A moment passed in silence, the only noises were the soft sounds of Sasori clearing his work station.

"Just tell me your story, yea," Deidara continued once Sasori had finished his task.

_**It's worse, worse than you think  
>If truth be told<strong>_

Deidara thought Sasori was going to ignore him, the puppet master busying his hands with the task at hand. However, he began to talk.

"I lived in a village,"

"Which one?"

"If you interrupt me, Brat, I won't tell you."

Deidara bit back his retort as Sasori continued speaking.

"Where doesn't matter. It was a village, nothing special or out of the ordinary." He could see the question in Deidara's eyes when he glanced over. Exhaling, he continued. "Country of Wind, Brat, I won't go deeper. I lived with my grandmother, my parents were killed earlier,"

"Sas-"

"Finish my name, Brat, and story time is over,"

Deidara clamped his mouth shut.

"And wipe that look of pity off your face," He was dangerously close to growling. "I went to bed one night and woke up to the house on fire. I managed to escape, hoping to find help," He spoke in a low voice, his words rushed and slowing at random intervals. "The entire village was in flames. Most of the buildings had already fallen, caved in. I could barely move. Through the smoke, I knew no one was living. And if they were, it wouldn't be for long. I expected myself to die. But I didn't." He paused.

"Wha-"

"Do not interrupt me, Brat," Sasori narrowed his eyes at the blonde, but then returned his gaze to his hands. "I don't know who saved me. I barely remember his face, and I have no clue if my recollection was even accurate. My eyes were stinging from the smoke, my body sorely lacking oxygen. But some boy, I have no doubt it was a male, swooped in and saved my life." He clinched his hands into fists, and then laid them flat on the table. "The only reasoning I can see behind it is, someone had to survive. Maybe he wanted me to praise his terrible skills. Maybe he just wanted to see me suffer. I don't know." He cut his eyes at Deidara. "Not a week later, Itachi and Kisame found me. They brought me here. And now you know."

Deidara stared at Sasori, locked eyes with the emotionless puppet master.

_**Words are cheap so I'll sell you a line  
>Like the way you acted that night<strong>_

"Are we done with story time, Brat? I have work to do." Sasori stood, not waiting for an answer, and left the room.

Deidara rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. Sasori had told him little more than he had on the last mission, and had pointedly ignored telling Deidara what he actually wanted to know. He didn't want to hear about the explosion, the fires. He wanted to know about before that.

He exhaled slowly. That was his luck. His partner was the same boy he had saved. The same boy who's life he had ruined. Rather than feel bad, Deidara was suddenly angry. He had saved Sasori's life, and the stupid puppet master thought it was because he wanted him to suffer! If that was his goal, wouldn't he have let him die there?

Not that he expected Sasori to understand. No, that heartless, emotionless jerk!

Deidara snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Sasori standing beside the bed.

"What, un?"

"Food, Brat," Sasori crossed his arms over his chest.

"Where?" Deidara sat up.

"That's where we're going, Brat. Now, get up and move or I'll change my mind,"

"You're taking me out to eat, yea?" Deidara bounced off the bed, suddenly full of energy and forgiveness for Sasori.

Sasori narrowed his eyes. "Don't make me regret this, Brat, now come on." He left the room, not bothering to look back to see if the blonde was behind him.

Deidara followed Sasori to the exit, and then fell in step beside him. "What's this about?"

Sasori arched a brow. "I do something nice, and you question it?"

"Yes, un," Deidara nodded to emphasize his answer. "You don't do things like this. In fact, you almost hate spending time with me."

"Not true, Brat," But Sasori offered no more information.

After a moment of silence, Deidara restated his question. "Why are we going out to eat now?"

"Are you hungry?" Sasori resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. If he knew going for food would be so stressful, he'd have rather starved.

"Yes, un, but you must have a reason."

"Just shut up and appreciate it,"

Deidara followed the order for a minute, but was quick to restart the conversation. "Is something bothering you, No Danna, un?"

"I try to do something nice, and the brat thinks there's something wrong," Sasori grumbled to the air. "If you say one more word, we're going back."

Deidara fell silent, walking beside his partner. He glanced over occasionally, but Sasori's face was unreadable. They approached the shop and took their seats at a private table in silence.

Sasori placed both their orders, then turned his gaze on Deidara. "I know something is going on. With the conversations you choose to bring up, the immediate murder of the target, and the conversation you were having with Hidan before I arrived, which you cut short," He glared at Deidara when the blonde made an attempt to interrupt. "Either you tell me now, or I assume the worst, and Brat, trust me, you would regret that option."

"I think I'd regret either option, yea,"

_**Play it safe  
>In the name of keeping your place<strong>_

Deidara drew in a deep breath, but was offered more time by the appearance of their food. He managed three bites around the lump swelling in his throat when Sasori coughed.

"Brat, are you testing my patience? I hate to wait,"

Deidara bit back his retort. Angering Sasori would receive no better reaction when the news was given. Still, he sipped his drink before attempting to reply.

"The conversation with Hidan wasn't whatever you're thinking it was,"

"Don't play games with me, Brat."

Deidara's mind went into overdrive. Oh, Sasori, I bombed your village years ago. Yea, that would go over smoothly. He needed something else to say, something not quite a lie, but not the full story, either.

"Do you often threaten to kill me when I'm not around, Brat?"

"No, Sasori, un, that was the first." He shook his head. "I wasn't threatening to kill you."

"Really, Brat?" Sasori arched a brow.

"Why do you never use Hiroku anymore, un?" Deidara switched the conversation, uncertain about where the idea had come from.

Sasori appeared momentarily thrown off track, but he recovered quickly. "That has nothing to do with this conversation, Brat."

Deidara shrugged. "You have secrets, too, No Danna, un."

"Do you like being partners, Brat?"

Deidara nodded. "Are you repeating my questions, un?" He smirked.

"No, Brat, I'm simply saying, keep playing your game, and I won't have a partner."  
><em><strong>Play it safe<br>For the sake of keeping some face**_

Deidara frowned. "No Danna, un, that's not nice. You shouldn't threaten me."

Sasori bit back a laugh. "When have I been one to threaten people?"

Deidara paused, his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. "Since I've known you, yea,"

Sasori shrugged off the comment, and they fell silent, their food disappearing at a rapid pace at each boy shoveled it into their mouths to avoid conversation.

Once both their plates were cleared, Sasori paid for the meal and stood. "Now, why are you hiding things?"

"Why are you hiding things?" Deidara knew that wasn't the most mature response, but the automatic retort silenced Sasori. It did so in a worrying manner, because he didn't speak another word on the walk back to base.

Once in their room, Deidara crawled back into bed. "Thanks for dinner, un,"

Sasori settled onto his bed, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling. "Deidara," He sighed.

Deidara drew in a breath. He wanted to tell Sasori. Well, he wanted to tell him what he wanted to know, but not exactly what he wanted to know. He wanted to be honest with Sasori, but not in a way that would result in his own untimely death. Moreover, he just wanted Sasori to not be upset with him. He had a nagging feeling that he was letting Sasori down. Oh, what did it matter, Sasori was only his partner. And like he said, one of them was bond to die in combat at some point. No use sharing secrets or getting attached.

He shut his eyes, but they snapped open at the sound of Sasori's voice.

"Before the village went up in flames,"

_**I've got you hanging on every word I say  
>But that don't mean a thing<strong>_

"I can't say I was happy." Sasori blinked at the ceiling. His voice was empty of emotion, but somehow soothing to Deidara.

"Life wasn't bad, I guess. My parents died when I was young, and that was hidden from me for a while."

Deidara thought about saying something when Sasori paused, but he didn't want to ruin the moment and change Sasori's mind about talking.

"This was hidden from me for a while." Sasori fell silent again, his mind replaying when he was younger, finding out about his parents death. He rolled over and could see Deidara, a shadow in the darkness, sitting up, his eyes shining in the darkness.

"I lived with Granny Chio after that. She was…bitter, at times, but…" He shrugged into the darkness. "And you?"

Deidara was momentarily speechless.

"Aren't you going to tell me your past too, Brat?"

"I wasn't wanted in my village," Deidara began after a moment of thinking, considering his words. "I was an outcast, un, a freak. They didn't want me, and I didn't want to be there. So I bl-I made some bad choices. I went rouge. And now I'm here, yea, nothing more,"

Sasori waited for more. "You're normally so talkative, Brat, is that really all?"

Deidara nodded, then realized Sasori wouldn't see him. "Tell me more of your story, un,"

Sasori shrugged. "There's nothing more to tell. I was with Granny Chio, it burnt to the ground, you know the rest."

Deidara shook his head. "There has to be more, un. Don't you have any memories?"

Sasori rolled onto his stomach. "Nothing,"

Deidara drew in a breath, preparing more questions, but Sasori cut him off.

"'Night, Brat,"

Deidara thought to object, but he knew the finality in Sasori's tone was serious. "Good night, No Danna, un,"

Even though they had said their Good nights, and were laying in the darkness, neither fell asleep. Deidara was breathing softly, hoping for Sasori to continue his story. Sasori lay still, concentrating on Deidara's breathing, trying to lose his thoughts.  
><em><strong>And you love the way I take your breath away<br>So I'll take your breath away**_

"Is that all you have?"

Deidara's breath was coming in short gasps, his shirt torn and blood darkened his sweat pants. "Can't we break, No Danna, un, I'm tired."

"Quit whining, Brat, you can do better," Sasori slackened the strings of chakra to his puppets. They had been training for hours. Sasori had woken from a restless sleep and was attempting to lose all his energy in the training.

Deidara was eager to spend time with his partner, but could tell Sasori was in a viscous mood. He had spent more time dodging dangerous attacks than throwing any of his own.

Deidara dropped to the ground, leaning back on his hands and struggling to regain his breath. "Just…a few minutes…"

Sasori crossed the grounds to his partner, dropping something on his lap.

Deidara stared at the bottle before lifting it, eagerly gulping down the water. "Thanks, Sasori, yea,"

Sasori shrugged. "Let's call it a day," He wasn't in the mood to fight anyway.

Deidara nodded and struggled to his feet. "I'm going to shower, yea,"

Sasori ignored the statement, forcing the idea of his partner, naked, under a stream of water, from his mind. Why was he having such odd thoughts?

"Sasori? Did you hear me, yea?" Deidara was leaning towards him.

Sasori turned slightly, not wanting to admit that he hadn't been paying any attention. They were close enough that he could feel Deidara's breath on his skin. He shivered and moved away slightly.

Deidara shrugged. "Whatever, yea," And he strolled off to take a shower.

Sasori slowly began making his way back, in no way eager to be in such close proximity with his partner. It must be all the stress.

Deidara stood under the spray of the water, the warmth doing a great deal to relieve the aching in his muscles. He leaned against the wall, his mind rolling back over Sasori. Something was off with the puppet master. More so than normal, not that he had thought that possible.

Even more worrying, something was off with him. He was having odd thoughts, odd feelings. Whenever Sasori was around, he wanted him closer. He wanted to keep the emotionless boy talking, to find out his every secret and explore every part of his mind, of his body.

Deidara sighed heavily. Thinking about it wasn't changing anything. He had two options. He could either shove these feelings away, or he could find out how Sasori felt about him.  
><em><strong>Second best, is what, what you want then<br>It won't cost that much, but me**_  
>Sasori was laying across the bed when Deidara came out of the shower, wearing little more than a towel around his waist. His eyes danced over the toned flesh hungrily and he had to force himself to look away. The last thing he wanted was to give the blonde a reason to question him.<p>

Deidara ignored Sasori for the most part, ruffling around for clothes and attempting to hide the blush that colored his face. How long had Sasori been in the room? Didn't that boy make a sound?

"Are you going to stand around all day, Brat, or get dressed?"

"Is it such a problem with you, yea?" He snapped out, then bit his lip. Trying to keep secrets and not understanding his own thoughts sure made him irritable.

Sasori shrugged and watched Deidara from the corner of his eyes. Truth be told, he didn't have a problem with it. Rather, he had a problem with himself.

"I'm going to talk to Hidan," Deidara announced, dressed in sweats and a tank top.

Sasori shrugged. "I don't need the play by play, Brat,"

Deidara left the room grumbling about how rude Sasori could be, but his mood brightened considerably upon approaching Hidan.

"Hey, Blondie,"

"Hidan, What are you doing?"

"Avoiding Kakuzu," Hidan replied bluntly.

Deidara shrugged, following Hidan to the couches. He knew better than to ask for the details, Hidan would rant for hours about how 'Kuzu didn't understand the importance of Jashin, he only cared about his money, and he would be the first person he would sacrifice to Jashin if he could do that without resulting in major problems. Then, the moment Kakuzu reappeared; he would go back to being best friends with the boy. Deidara failed to follow the line of thought when Hidan got started, so he avoided the topic.

"What's wrong, Blondie? You're so fuckin' quiet,"

Deidara shrugged. "Hidan, if I told you something…" He shook his head. "Forget it."

"No, you started it, now fuckin' tell me."

Deidara opened his mouth and shut it. After doing this a few times, he finally managed a few words. "IthinkIhaveathingforSasori."

"What? Blondie, fuckin' talk normal."

Deidara glared at Hidan. "You know what I said,"

"I just want to know if what you said is what I think you said."

"What do you think I said, un?"

"That you want to fuck Sasori."

Deidara winced at the harsh terms, but shrugged.

"Does he know?"

"What, un?" Deidara shook his head. "I'd be dead right now if he knew, yea,"

"You really think he'd fuckin' kill you?"

"Hidan, that isn't the point, yea," Deidara dropped his face in his hands. "It's tense, yea,"

"Tense?"

"Being in the same room with him, when I feel like this, un," Deidara had an odd feeling that Hidan was trying to make the situation even more uncomfortable, and was regretting talking to the Jashinist.

"I know, Blondie! I got the best fuckin' idea!"

"You do?" Deidara sounded hesitant, doubtful. Hidan having a plan didn't sound like the best idea.

"To relieve the tension, it must be fuckin' sexual tension, so go to a village,"

Hidan kept talking, but Deidara noticed Sasori enter the room, standing a few feet away. He locked eyes with Deidara, arching a brow as the immortal continued.

"Find some random fuckin' person and just have sex with them. Fuck them and leave. Maybe kill them… It could solve all your problems."

"Dare I ask what problems you're having that that could solve, Brat?"

"How fuckin' long you been there?" Hidan glared at Sasori.

"Don't worry, Hidan, yea," Deidara stood. "Thanks for the advice," He turned and left the room before Sasori could ask more questions or Hidan let something slip.

Sasori shot Hidan a look and followed the blonde. "You aren't considering his advice, are you, Brat?" He leaned against the doorway, watching the blonde pace the room.

Deidara halted his steps. "If I was, un?" He wasn't. The idea of someone else taking the place he wanted Sasori to have, doing the things that he imagined Sasori would do, just didn't feel satisfactory to him.

"I would refuse to remain your partner."  
><em><strong>I am sweet, so everybody takes a bite<br>Dig in, I'm the catalyst of your demise**_

Deidara frowned at Sasori. "You threaten to quit being my partner a lot, un."

"It's not a threat." Sasori replied simply.

"Well, I don't like it, yea,"

"And I don't like the things you talk about with Hidan." Sasori retorted. After the words left his mouth, he wanted to punch himself. Now he sounded like a clingy, jealous idiot. Not his best move.

"You don't even know what we talk about, yea. And with you trying to kill me in training and questioning every word I say before telling me to shut up, it's a little hard to talk to you, yea," Deidara dropped on the bed dramatically.

Sasori glanced over at his partner. He was hard to talk to? That thought had never crossed his mind. He didn't push Deidara away any more than the brat called for it.

"You're always so busy trying to live forever, un," Deidara stared over at Sasori. "What would you do with your life?"

"Kill the person who burnt down my village." Sasori shrugged. "After that, I don't know,"

Deidara sighed and stared back at the ceiling.

"And you?" Sasori asked, still watching the blonde.

Deidara exhaled. "I guess, I want to know…"

"To know?"

Deidara grinned. "You'll know what I want to know when I know the answer to it."

Sasori frowned. "Brat, if you're just trying to confuse me-"

"Good night, Sasori No Danna,"

Sasori exhaled loudly. "Good night, Brat,"

Deidara rolled onto his side, away from Sasori.

The silence fell over them heavily. Sasori wanted to tackle the brat, ask him a million questions, all of which he knew he'd never get a straight answer to. Deidara just wanted to tackle Sasori. What came next, he tried to force from his thoughts.

"Deidara…"

"Un...?"

"Even though you annoy me, and you play stupid head games-"

"Danna, I thought you were going to say something nice, un," Deidara frowned, not bothering to roll over.

"I was, before you interrupted."

"So, say it, yea,"

"I wouldn't want anyone other than you for a partner," Sasori finished.

Deidara smiled at the wall. "Thanks, No Danna, un." He was half tempted to tell Sasori of his feelings, but he bit his tongue. He didn't want to ruin the moment. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, he would find out how Sasori felt. "Good night,"

"'Night, Brat," Sasori whispered softly._**  
>It's the truth, it's the truth<br>So true**_


	7. Hurricane The Formal Weather Pattern

▼Something Corporate → (Hurricane) The Formal Weather Pattern

_**Standing there with your smile blinding your eyes  
>from seeing my face as I'm dying to figure out <strong>_

Sasori leaned against the door frame, watching Deidara work. Wet clay took shape, gained details, then was smashed down into tiny bits. None of the figurines were saved. He watched as a new image was made, this one taking longer, the blonde's hands working quickly, carefully. A small body was formed, and was taking on more details. With a small smile, he realized it was him. He was watching Deidara make a miniature statue of him.

Deidara hummed lightly as he worked. Once Sasori had completely taken form on his work table, he stood. This one wasn't getting smashed. He set it on a bare counter to dry. Maybe art was fleeting, and eventually this, too, would fade like the others. Maybe explode, he hadn't decided. He turned to the sink, washing his hands.

"The likeness is almost startling."

Deidara turned, surprised. "Why are you in here?" Even as the words came out in a rush, a smile lit his face and his eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Curious, maybe," Sasori shrugged. "Why did you make a doll of me?"

"It isn't a doll, yea." Deidara dried his hand and crossed the room. He passed Sasori, walking out.

Sasori followed him, not wanting to invade the blonde's personal area without him present. If he did, the blonde might decide to return the favor, and he wasn't certain he liked that idea.

Deidara shut the door behind Sasori. "Curious, un," His voice held a questioning tone.

Sasori didn't respond, crossing the small hall to their room and sitting on the bed.

"You don't have to ignore me, yea." Deidara frowned.

"I think this makes me right." Sasori ignored the blonde's statement.

"About what?"

"Art is eternal." Sasori replied nonchalantly.

"Art is fleeting, yea," Deidara replied automatically.

"Then why did you save the doll?"

"It wasn't a doll, yea!" Deidara repeated himself. "And I'll destroy it, if you feel so strongly about it."

Sasori shook his head. "I'm charmed."

"Sarcasm," Deidara shook his head.

Sasori stood, stretching slightly. "Maybe, but the thought,"

"Thought of what?" Deidara asked when he realized Sasori wasn't going to say more.

"That you spend enough time staring at me to memorize all those tiny details."

"I don't stare at you, yea!" Deidara objected, a slight blush coloring his face. "You were the one staring at me while I worked, un."

"Hardly a fair argument there, Brat." Sasori smiled in victory.

Deidara crossed his arms. "You're imagining things."

"Am I?" Sasori could feel his heart beat quicken as he stepped closer to the blonde. "Can I imagine this?" His lips gently brushed the blonde's.

_**Shake down, you make me break  
>for goodness sake I think I'm on the edge of something new with you<strong>_

Sasori was close enough to feel the blonde's warmth, but he drew away, careful not to touch him.

Deidara stood with his eyes shut, lips slightly parted.

Sasori drew in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Deidara hadn't hit him or ran off yet, that was a good sign. He also hadn't talked or moved, which Sasori wasn't sure how to register.

"That really happened, yea," Deidara blinked.

Sasori didn't reply.

Deidara took a step closer to Sasori. "Do you have any idea," He seemed to pause, rethink his confession, and then finish it anyway. "How long I waited for that,"

Sasori finally let out his breath. "Then why didn't you do it, Brat?" He was back to the image of indifference.

"And have you kill me, yea? No thanks."

Sasori chuckled softly. "I don't think I would have killed you."

"Then you wouldn't mind if I did it now?" He didn't wait for a reply, pressing his lips to Sasori's.

Sasori gently bit Deidara's bottom lip, his tongue sneaking into the blonde's mouth when his lips parted. The battle of dominance ended before it started, Sasori in complete control.

Deidara had a sweet taste, and the thought of his innocence made Sasori want him more. The soft, whimpering moan he made as he tugged at Sasori's hair, pulling closer, made the puppet warm inside. He couldn't explain exactly what he was feeling, and a small part of him was screaming that this was dangerous; that he should pull away, should leave. But he couldn't. The blonde had him trapped, had him locked in this moment.

Deidara pulled away first, gasping for air.

Sasori was almost surprised to find himself greedily sucking in air. He took a step back, away from Deidara

Deidara watched him, slightly hurt. Of course, this would be too much for the usually emotionless puppet. He shouldn't have kissed him again. He shouldn't have rushed it. Sasori would hate him now.  
><em><strong>Shout out, don't drown the sound, I'll drown you out<br>you'll never scream so loud as I want to scream with you**_

"I don't know how this works." Sasori admitted with a soft voice.

Deidara shook his head. "I can't say this is where my experience lays."

As if all he needed was a confession that they were on equal playing fields, Sasori reached out, tangling his hand in Deidara's hair. He pulled the blonde to him, crushing his lips against the other male's.

Deidara gave a small cry, but it took less than a second for his reaction to change. He wrapped his arms around Sasori, trying to pull him closer. Their bodies were pressed together, but he wanted more. He felt as if all the emotions he could contain were suddenly exploding like a firework show. His body was flushed and he felt hot all over. He pulled away from Sasori.

"Are you sure you-"

"Don't say anything," Sasori interrupted him. "I'll rethink this situation."

Deidara brushed his lips against Sasori's. "I've thought about this many times," He ignored Sasori's words. "I just never thought it would happen."

Sasori trailed his hands from the blonde's hair, down his face, neck, and arms, linking their fingers. "I know the feeling."  
><em><strong>Stand up don't make a sound, your ears might bleed<br>There are sweet fluorescent enemies that live inside of me**_

They stood like that, frozen, studying each other.

Internally, Sasori was confused. He was happy that this was happening, but it ruined so many things. He wanted Deidara, more than he knew he should. Yet, being with Deidara would put a halt on his other plans. Such as becoming a puppet; without feelings, he wouldn't be able to have Deidara. He wouldn't want Deidara. That thought worried him. But he wanted, no, needed, to become a puppet. He had to live eternally, find the person who destroyed his village and kill them. He had so much he needed to accomplish; Deidara was little more than a distraction. But a much wanted distraction.

Deidara watched Sasori's expressions change, and he could see the doubt in his eyes. He was finally here, with the person he wanted most, and he doubted it already. Part of him wanted to do something drastic, change Sasori's mind, bring him back into the embrace they had shared only moments ago. Another part of him wanted to punch Sasori in the face. He had started this mess; he had brought these harbored feelings out in force. Who was he to call it off, to change his mind so suddenly?

Sasori could see the anger evident on Deidara's face, and he knew something was wrong. Did the blonde have new found mind reading powers? He knew he needed to do something, change the situation. To let the bomber know that this was what he wanted. To convince the blonde that he, himself, wanted this as well.

_**And you can't explain how the wind went **_

_**And pulled you into the hurricane**_

"When?" Sasori whispered, breaking the silence.

"When what?" Deidara snapped back to the present. His doubts of Sasori faded away. Just having him so close, touching him, he was satisfied. The fireworks had slowed, stopped, but a fire still burnt inside of him.

"When did you start feeling this way?"

When I realized it was you, the boy whose village I destroyed. When I saw the passion you had, how determined you were. When I realized we were so alike in that avenging way. When you looked my way, and, for once, there was no hatred. When you saw my hands, and didn't run away. He couldn't say any of that. It was too doubtful; half of it would ruin what was happening.

"It just happened. Little details of you kept coming up, and I realized that I liked every part of it. The passion you have for art, even if your definition is-"

"Don't say wrong, Brat." Sasori threatened.

"…Different," Deidara smiled. "You accepted me, even if you were cold and distant. You put up with me, and you…changed me."

Sasori smiled softly.

"When did you know?"

"You said my name in your sleep. At first, it angered me. I thought maybe you were dreaming about killing me. But you looked happy, content. I liked to watch you sleeping. You don't talk as much. But even in your sleep, you aren't silent."

"What do I say?"

"You apologize a lot." Sasori frowned slightly. "What are you sorry about?"

Deidara shook his head. "A lot…One day, I'll tell you. But I can't right now. Now until I find out how…"

Sasori nodded, not pressing the subject. "Even when I'm rude, you don't give up. You're persistent. But you don't give up on me. Maybe that's what I need."

Deidara smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."  
><em><strong>So pull me under your weather patterns<br>your cold fronts and the rain don't matter**_  
>Sasori released Deidara's hands, pulling him close, wrapping his arms around the blonde.<p>

Deidara's eyes widened, but the shock faded and he smiled, returning the embrace.

Someone knocked on their door, and they both separated.

"Hey, Fuckers!"

"Hidan," Deidara greeted the man as the door opened.

"What were you two doing?" Hidan asked, his loud voice cutting through the silence.

"Nothing, yea," Deidara answered quickly.

"I was just getting ready to leave." Sasori walked past Hidan, pausing in the doorway to glance back at Deidara before disappearing.

"Did you fucking tell him?"

"I will eventually, yea," Deidara frowned. "I just have to wait for the right time."

Sasori avoided the kitchen, where he heard the noise of multiple people. He needed to be alone. He needed time to think.

The training grounds were empty. That wasn't unusual. They were all conceited in their abilities. And when they trained, it was normally on each other. He shuddered at the thought, remembering Itachi's idea of training with Deidara.

He summoned a puppet, his mind less than half focused as he made it battle the automatic training course. What was he doing? He wouldn't be able to complete his goals, to focus on anything at all, not with Deidara now. Sure, he'd spent long hours thinking about Deidara, imagining what life would be like if they were more intimate. But now that they were, he worried if it was a good thing.

"Sasori, un," Deidara stood a distance away.

"Not now," Sasori tried to focus more on his puppet, who had already been stabbed by three kunai.

"I can't talk, yea?" The thought made Deidara laugh.

With a hand sign, the puppet disappeared. He'd have to repair it later, and he'd regret his lack of focus. "What is it?"

Deidara faltered in his approach. Sasori sure did change moods fast. He shrugged. He knew Sasori would doubt things, he had every reason to. "I need to tell you som-"

There was a loud clap, and the sky seemed to open up. Rain poured down on them. Deidara stared up as the drops raced down, his expression almost confused.

"Brat," Sasori brushed finger tips across the blonde's cheek, smiling softly as he blushed in response.

"Sasori," Deidara whispered.

Sasori closed the distance between them, there lips crushing together in the glowing rain.

This kiss wasn't like the last. They weren't tugging at each other, trying to get closer. There was no rough force, no dominating.

Deidara sighed softly when their lips parted, his eyes half closed.

"Come on, Brat, you need to get dry clothes on." Sasori turned and walked off, like nothing had happened.

_**You don't do it on purpose  
>But you make me shake<strong>_

"You look-" Sasori stopped himself.

Deidara had followed the order, changing out of his wet clothes. He'd showered quickly and tugged on sweatpants. His drying hair was down, framing his face, hiding his eye.

He stretched, yawning slightly.

Sasori was sitting up in bed, dry sweatpants and a tank top covering his body. "Tired, Brat?"

Deidara nodded, rubbing at one eye and stumbling towards the bed. "Good night, Sasori, un"

Sasori stood, crossing the room to Deidara's bed. "After today, I expect more than that,"

Without giving Deidara time to fully comprehend what he meant, Sasori leaned over him and captured his lips in a gentle kiss.

Deidara pushed himself off the bed, kneeling so Sasori was standing straight, kissing him back eagerly. His tired attitude forgotten as he gave himself in to the heat of Sasori's kiss. He buried his fingers in the red locks, twisting the short hair around his fingers as his tongue fought against Sasori's.

Sasori broke the kiss. "Thought you were tired, Brat,"

Deidara smiled sheepishly. All of his witty comebacks were gone from his mind. He couldn't concentrate on anything but how close Sasori was, how his lips still tingled from the kiss, how he could feel the warmth of Sasori's breath brushing against his skin as he leaned closer.

"Good night, Brat," Sasori whispered in his ear, sending a shiver of excitement down Deidara's spine.

He brushed his lips against the blonde's one more time, a mere shadow of a kiss, and calmly walked back to his bed. If he stayed around the blonde a minute longer, they wouldn't be sleeping at all that night. Will power wasn't his strong suit when it came to Deidara.

_**For goodness sake I think I'm on the edge of something new with you**_


	8. Chasing Cars

▼Snow Patrol → Chasing Cars

_**If I lay here  
>If I just lay here<strong>_

Deidara rolled on to his side and sighed. What if Sasori didn't feel the same in the morning?

He rolled onto his back, locking his arms behind his head. What if Sasori was delusional, maybe he'd injected himself with poison. Maybe he'd wake up in the morning and not even know who Deidara was.

Deidara rolled on to his other side, staring across the darkness at the silhouette of Sasori, lying perfectly still on his bed.

What if he was dead? Deidara couldn't tell if he was breathing from the distance. However, creeping closer wouldn't help anything.

If he was breathing, he'd want to know what Deidara was doing. And, somehow, "I just wanted to make sure you were still alive" didn't seem like the words Sasori would want to hear.

Deidara flopped onto his stomach, burrowing his head in his arms, before deciding that, too, was uncomfortable, and he rolled over onto his back and heaved another sigh.

It was the first night, the first night was suppose to be the best, wasn't it? Where were the butterflies, the fireworks, from earlier? Why did it feel like they had been replaced with lead weights and flaming pitchforks?

He sighed again. What if Sasori-

"Brat," Sasori's voice floated over in the darkness, smooth and emotionless.

"Yes, No Danna, un?"

"If you exhale much harder, you'll blow the base down." Sasori grumbled.

Deidara rolled over and sighed again, then realized what he was doing. "Sorry, No Danna, un, just can't get comfortable, yea," Deidara tossed the blankets back, preparing to stand.

"Come here,"  
><em><strong>Would you lie with me <strong>_

_**And just forget the world**_  
>Deidara had half a mind to tell Sasori he wasn't a pet, but fought the urge. Instead, he crossed the room as commanded. "Yes, No Danna?" He stood a few feet from the bed.<p>

Sasori moved over slightly and held the blankets out invitingly.

Deidara hesitated a moment, but crawled under the blankets.

Sasori made sure the blonde was covered, then wrapped his arms around him. "You can't sigh every five seconds and roll over on me." He warned softly.

Deidara nodded, resting his head on Sasori's chest. He could hear the _thump th-thump_ of his heartbeat, but didn't know if it was real or just another of Sasori's puppet tricks. Either way, it was relaxing.

He wiggled closer to Sasori, pressing a gentle kiss on his chest in apology for moving around.

Sasori ran his fingers through the silky strands, watching them drop down. He wasn't sure what Deidara was thinking, or if he would feel the same tomorrow. If his feelings were as fleeting as his art… But, for just this moment, he couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

Deidara's fears were forgotten in the safety of Sasori's arms. "'Night, Danna," He murmured sleepily.

"Shhh, Brat," Sasori kissed the top of Deidara's head before returning his attention to the strands slipping through his fingers.

Deidara smiled to himself, drifting to sleep. He could get use to this.  
><em><strong>Just know that these things will never change for us at all<strong>_

Deidara awoke quite suddenly, freezing in place. He was oddly warm, and more comfortable than he was use to. Slowly opening his eyes, last night came back to him. He snuggled closer to Sasori, trying not to wake him.

"Morning, Brat,"

"Danna," Deidara smiled as he felt the arms around him tighten slightly. "Did I wake you?"

Sasori chuckled lightly. "Not hardly. It's past noon, I didn't want to wake you."

Deidara sat up reluctantly, rubbing at his eyes. "You let me sleep late?"

Sasori shrugged. "You're cute sleeping. And I didn't really want to move."

Deidara smiled. If this was the new Sasori, he could get use to that as well.

"But now that you're awake…" Sasori rolled over suddenly, dropping Deidara onto the floor. He slid from the bed, smiling at the look of surprise on Deidara's face. Before the blonde could feel hurt emotionally, he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. "If you're ready in twenty minutes, I'll take you out to breakfast." He sauntered off towards the showers.

Unpredictable. Deidara heaved a sigh as he stood, digging out clean clothes.

What did it matter? Finally, he had Sasori. The puppet master knew how he felt, and still accepted him. He couldn't ask for more.

_**I don't know where  
>Confused about how as well<strong>_******

"Are you sure?" Sasori's eyes flashed from the scene before him to Deidara and back.

Deidara nodded, taking a step closer.

"Careful," Sasori jerked Deidara back, placing a chaste kiss on his lips before releasing him. "And hurry,"

Deidara nodded, the already working on the clay. The faster this mission was over, the sooner he could return to safety with Sasori.

"And you plan on leaving it there, un?" Deidara frowned, arms crossed.

Sasori shot the puppet a look. "Well, yes, it makes a nice touch."

"I'm not coming to visit." He said with conviction.

"If it bothers you that much," Sasori heaved a sigh.

Deidara smiled. "You can hide it away somewhere."

Sasori arched a brow. "I was going to suggest you stay at your own place, Brat."

Deidara pouted, kicking the edge of the coffee table.

Leader had, much to Kakuzu's disappointment, given them all small apartments. There were tunnels, perhaps, or some other connection that allowed Zetsu to pop out at random times when he wasn't invited. They were still called to base on occasions for "group meetings" or discussions with Pein. However, they were a bit more independent now.

"I'll put it in the closet," Sasori promised, snaking his arms around Deidara's waist. "Are you staying over tonight?"

Deidara pressed a soft kiss to Sasori's waiting lips before nodding.

They hadn't spent a day in their individual apartments without the other, so it was a question of habit rather than actual curiosity.

... ... ... .

Deidara glanced over at his partner.

"What, Brat?" Sasori grumbled, glancing up from his wood work for a split second.

"Danna, un," Deidara slid closer.

"Brat…" Sasori's tone held a hint of warning.

"Put it down," Deidara demanded.

Sasori narrowed his eyes as he set the small puppet down. "Since when do you decide-"

Deidara straddled Sasori's lap when the path was clear, his kiss effectively cutting off the older male.

Sasori smiled softly when Deidara pulled away. Maybe it was time for a small break.

... ... ... .

"Sa-ah-sori," Deidara arched from the bed.

Sasori grinned, teasing the flushed body beneath him.

"Please, Sasori," He was silenced as lips crushed against his.

"Now?" Sasori asked, his fingers gently exploring Deidara. One gentle touch and-

"Please!" Deidara arched off the bed again, a moan escaping him. "I need you, Sasori,"

He smiled at his partner, his lover. With a soft kiss, he buried himself in the blonde.

Deidara clung to Sasori, waiting for the pain to subside. Careful not to further hurt the bomber, Sasori began to move.

"M-More, Sasori," Deidara begged, nails digging into his back.

Sasori slowed. "Beg me," He brushed his lips against Deidara's, a faint kiss.

"P-Please, Danna, m-ah-more," Deidara moved, meeting Sasori's thrusts as the puppet master quickened his pace, quickly stroking the blonde's leaking manhood.

"Ahhh, Sasori!" He cried, releasing his seed over their sweaty bodies.

Sasori caught his lips in a passionate kiss, moaning in to it as he released inside Deidara.

He dropped beside him, catching his breath.

Deidara rolled over, placing gentle kisses on the sweaty skin.

"Shower?" Sasori offered after a moment.

"Only if you carry me, un"

_**All that I am, All that I ever was  
>Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see<strong>_

"Can we talk, yea?" Deidara whispered.

Sasori glanced up, instantly worried. He nodded, patting the couch beside him.

Deidara dropped down, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to Sasori's lips.

"What's wrong, Brat?"

"This is serious, un," Deidara warned. "Do you remember that mission we went on, with the guy that had information? That I killed before he could talk…"

"Did you run into one of his loons? I thought he worked alone. I'll kill anyone for you,"

"Stop, Sasori, that's not it, un," Deidara smiled faintly. His clasped his hands together. "I know what he was going to say,"

Sasori arched a brow. "How is that?"

"It…It's kind of obvious, really. You know how I… apologize in my sleep, yea?" Deidara swallowed nervously.

"Come on, Brat," Sasori gave Deidara's arm a reassuring squeeze. "Just spit it out," He could tell something was really bothering Deidara, so he didn't snap at how long it was taking. But the boy sure was testing his patience.

Deidara bit his lip hard enough to taste blood before looking back at Sasori. "You're always talking about killing the person who destroyed your village," He stared into the muddy brown orbs. "What I'm saying is…It was, I…" He blinked to clear his vision, never breaking contact Sasori's eyes. Silently, he begged him to understand, to forgive, to love him. "I did it, un,"

****** I considered ver briefly putting a few million filler chapters here. However, I figured a quick romantic montage would about sum it up and skip ahead. Please be aware, this means a time jump. Don't worry, it's less than a year. Think of a random number 3-8 and add months to it, and there you go. Moving it right along.


	9. Studying Politics

▼Emery → Studying Politics

_**We began with concluding remarks  
>Break up the pieces and examine the parts<strong>_

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sasori's voice was cold.

Deidara winced; wishing it would return to the emotionless state it had been when they first met. First met for the second time, rather.

"In case you haven't figured it out," Sasori hissed. "Anything, everything we had. It's over."

Deidara froze. "Sasori no Danna, let me explain." He was just short of begging.

_**You'd like to think that you're the best part of me**_

_**But I confess there is nothing left of you here**_

Sasori turned to face the boy he had grown to love, the one person who had changed him so dramatically over the past year. Who had changed him so long ago, without even knowing it. "I don't want to hear your explanations." He mentally told himself to stop talking. The words were getting harder to form. He was a puppet. A puppet. Why did he feel this pain?

The words fell like stones from Sasori's mouth, landing on Deidara's heart, crushing him.

_**Saying that but meaning this**__  
><em>_**Your tears for emphasis**_

"Sasori, wait, listen, un." Deidara reached for the man, tears pooling in the corner of his eyes.

Sasori jerked out of his reach. "Say what you want. I'm leaving."

Deidara angrily wiped the tears away. Why was he crying? This man meant nothing to him. He was a mutual friend. A friend of a friend. He was no one important. Deidara told himself there were no feelings there, nothing to signify why the puppet leaving should hurt him.

In fact, he should do what he should have done long ago. He should grab the kunai. He should finish the job. But he couldn't.

_**It's in the way you sell every word and phrase  
>And leaving me to know how much the meaning weighs<strong>_

Sasori smirked. "Speechless? How unusual," His tone was biting, cruel amusement colored his words. "Apologies would suit you better than this, brat." The compassion that had once colored his words was gone. He reached the door, his steps felt like lead. He told himself to just leave, to quit waiting. The boy wasn't going to come up with any sort of response that would make him want to stay; there was nothing that could make him forgive the boy for destroying his home.

"Sasori no Danna…" Deidara's voice was soft. "I love you."

_**Those eyes are telling white, white lies**_

_**White, white lies**_

Sasori jerked back at the words. "It's a little late, isn't it?" He spat out. "After what you've done, you expect me to feel the same? Never, Brat, so keep your fleeting emotions and selfish confessions to yourself." Sasori's eyes were cold and empty. But inside, he was crumbling. The brat had put a name to the emotion that had kept him in place, made him so slow to leave. He had whispered the word that had been bouncing around inside the puppet, confusing him and ruining his judgment. With no emotion reaching his face or words, he tugged open the door and delivered his parting line. "The next time I see you, I swear, I _will_ kill you."


	10. Dance With The Devil

▼Breaking Benjamin → Dance With The Devil

_**Here I stand, helpless and left for dead  
>Close your eyes, so many days go by<strong>_

Deidara watched the scorpion leave, his heart felt heavy. He didn't bother locking the door as he turned and walked slowly down the hallway. He had grown use to the company, and realizing he would never see Sasori again made him feel empty. The sudden silence pressed on him. He fell onto his bed and shut his eyes. He ignored the tears that clung to his lashes and made small streaks towards his hair. He couldn't bother himself to move. He willed himself to sleep, reality suddenly, oppressively unacceptable. Unbearable.

He opened his eyes. Sun shone in through the window. He rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head. He found this technique not as satisfying as he had hoped, so he rolled out of bed. He tugged the curtains over the window, and curled back in bed. His stomach gave a growl of protest, and his mouth was dry. Had he been sleeping with his mouth open again?

That one question made tears sting at his eyes. His mind went back to the day before. Sasori was gone. Forever. He curled into a ball, tugging the blankets around himself and burying his face in them. He didn't bother trying to stop the tears, simply ignoring them as he drifted back into sleep.

_**Easy to find what's wrong  
>Harder to find what's right<strong>_

Deidara rolled out of bed. No light bothered to fight his curtains. He faintly wondered what day it was. He lost count of the number of times he'd rolled back over and fell asleep upon awakening. He stumbled to the bathroom, turning the shower on. Maybe a warm shower would make him feel better. But the water was taking forever to heat up. He turned it off and turned to the mirror. His hair was in knots. He grabbed the brush, attempted to brush it, but didn't really care. Where was he going, anyway?

He made his way to the kitchen, but nothing sounded appetizing. He wasn't in the mood to cook anyway. He walked back to the bedroom, his trip around the house proving to fail at cheering him up. He dropped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He noticed a small crack in it. Perfect. Maybe it could just fall on him.

He rolled over, but the pillows felt harsh. The blanket got twisted, and the sheet came untucked.

Deidara felt like screaming. Wasn't enough going wrong? Was the world against him now? He balled up his fist, thoroughly abusing his bed. But this succeeded in proving nothing. He turned his rage to the wall, the sound of impact and the pain that followed made him feel a little better.  
><em><strong>I won't stay long <strong>_

_**In this world so wrong**_

The pain wasn't as intense as what he normally received upon injury, but it made his mind reel. He was living with this internal injury. No one could look at him and know that anything was wrong. But he wanted to scream it to the world. He crossed to the window, threw the curtains open. He crouched on the ledge. Too easily, he could throw himself from here. Part of him wanted to, but he stopped.

It wouldn't kill him. His body would try to save him, and he would live. He would be crippled, pathetic, depending on someone for help. But he would live. And he simply didn't want that.

He turned away from the window, making his way back to the bed. He would rather waste away slowly.  
><em><strong>I believe in you I can show you that <strong>_

_**I can see right through all your empty lies**_

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Sasori stared at the mirror.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Deidara couldn't have meant those words. It was a desperate lie, a desperate attempt to keep him there.

He had been so weak when Sasori had found him. Of course his emotions would be a little difficult to control. Anyway, Sasori was a puppet.

Puppets can't feel pain, nor love. As he reminded himself this, he knew it wasn't true. He wasn't a puppet.

He was lying to himself in the same way that Deidara had lied to him.

_**Trembling, crawling across my skin**_

Deidara's eyes fell closed, then opened again. He felt like his skin was falling off, hanging away. He felt as though something were crawling on him, teasing him. He shuddered, and suddenly couldn't stop the trembling. He was hungry and his mouth was dry. His eyes were heavy, but his body was in too much pain for him to sleep. This was it. Finally, he would die. But did it have to take so long? Did it have to hurt so much?  
><em><strong>Feeding your cold, dead eyes<br>Stealing the life of mine**_

Deidara's eyes drifted shut once more, and he could see Sasori's muddy brown eyes glaring at him. His eyes were questioning him, taunting him. Die for me. They seemed to call to him.

Deidara shot up, cringing. No. This wasn't how he would die. He wasn't going to die here. Not for Sasori. Not without Sasori.

He was going to show that ignorant bastard that he was the one in charge. That people changed and he had no right to just leave. If they wouldn't talk, then Sasori could hold his end of the bargain. If he refused to take Deidara back into his life, then he would have to take Deidara's life.  
><em><strong>Hold on<br>Hold on  
>Say goodbye<strong>_


	11. I Forgive You

▼Every Avenue → I Forgive You

_**And now you're knocking on my front door **_

_**That's what I've been living for **_

Sasori sat at the table, uneager to move to answer the insistent pounding on his door. Surely, if it were terribly important, whoever was pounding would either enter or come again at a later point. Not that he saw himself being anymore hospitable then.

There was only one person he wanted to see, and it was the person he least wanted to see. His thoughts weren't making much sense. He was emotionless, he had perfected himself. Puppets don't deal with confusion, with emotions, certainly not with pain. So why was he sitting here, in this dazed stupor, waiting for something to happen to him. He had half a mind to go across town and kill the blonde brat. The other half of that thought was forgiving him, sweeping him into his arms, returning his feelings. Neither of those were happening.

The pounding paused for a second, then picked up, louder than before. Sasori eyed the door with pure hatred, and it responded by opening.

"Maybe you don't want to see me, but I need to see you,"

_**You, you got a way of keeping me on my toes **_

_**And you got a way of thinking whatever you do goes**_

"So you think it is okay to just march into my home?" Sasori stood quickly, unprepared to be confronted by the one person who wouldn't leave his thoughts.

"It's not like you intended to let me in anytime soon, yea." Deidara responded with a shrug, the picture of casual. Inside, his insides were raging war. Now that he was here, he couldn't go back. Why had he come here, when it was obvious Sasori didn't want him?

"To be fair, I didn't see you coming this far, really. Not with the death threat."

Deidara shut the door, pacing into the room. "Well, I wasn't sure if you were serious," He amazed even himself with the amount of sarcasm he managed to put in the statement. He felt that, without a doubt, Sasori was serious. If this conversation went wrong, Sasori wouldn't hesitate to kill him. However, he chose to doubt this.

_**I, I'm gonna miss watching you while you sleep  
>Cause that was the only time I ever found some peace<strong>_

"I was serious, Brat. Want to see how much?" He crossed over to the blonde, placing a hand on the pale throat. "Tell me, Brat, am I serious?" He added pressure, a smirk dancing across his features.

"Please, Sasori, un," Deidara caught him on the wrist, pulling his hand away. "While your threat may have been serious, that action was anything but. We both know you wouldn't strangle me to death, yea."

Sasori arched a brow. "Brat, I was enjoying the silence of my house. Why do you choose to interrupt that?"

Deidara drew in a breath; time for the moment of truth. "Maybe I've done some things in the past, but that's in the past. I've changed, yea. I love you, Sasori. You can't just throw that away, un. Look me in the eye; tell me you don't feel the same."

_**I forgive you for the truth **_

_**I liked you better when you lied**_

His mind flashed to before the truth had been revealed. Maybe everything about their interactions had been a lie, but it was certainly much better than knowing that the one person he had allowed himself to trust was the same person who had murdered everyone he knew without a second thought.

His breath caressed Deidara's skin as he leaned close. "I liked you better when everything was a lie," His tongue quickly followed the words, teasing Deidara.

He couldn't explain his movements. He loved this boy, but in the same instance, he hated him. He could forgive the boy for committing the crime, maybe, in the way you forgive a stranger for stepping on your toes in a crowded area. But you couldn't forgive the stranger for not apologizing, and he didn't forgive Deidara for not telling him. Even though, in the same thought line, he had to admit that he would never have allowed himself to grow close to Deidara. Forget growing close, he would never have allowed Deidara to live this long. Hadn't he made his promise perfectly clear? Deidara was an idiot to show up in his house after he had promised him death.

_**And I forgive you being you  
>'Cause you were better when you faked every smile<strong>_

Deidara shuddered at the feeling of Sasori so close. This was what he had fantasized about for so long, yet, the tension was too much. He took a stumbling step back, the wall greeting him too quickly. He had to think, and thinking wasn't going so well when he could feel the warmth of Sasori's body.

He glanced up, the cold smirk on Sasori's face stabbing him in the chest. Where were the small smiles, the gentle words? How far under this redefined defense had Sasori buried them? Was it even possible to find them again?

Deidara watched Sasori close the distance, his heart beat quickening. He wasn't going to let some man dominate him when the hatred was so pure in his eyes. He was going to forgive him, first, and then they could hold each other.

_**I could throw my cares away  
>Now I know how freedom taste<strong>_

Deidara's resolve weakened as Sasori's body pressed against his. A strangled moan slipped from his throat at the mere feel of the consuming warmth. When had he gotten so weak, so emotion filled?

Sasori's anger faltered at the sound. It was all in the past, and he was trapped in the present. He raised his face slightly, muddy brown orbs meeting blue before their eyes fell shut, and their lips met like strangers shaking hands, hesitant yet certain.

He explored Deidara's mouth, the almost sweet taste intoxicating. It made him think of innocence, each sensation as fleeting as the bomber's art. He could have stayed there forever, in his arms, tasting every part of his mouth.

_**And I really don't mind 'cause you keeping me amused **_

_**And you treated my love to your god damn crazy moods**_

He broke the kiss, leaving Deidara gasping, whimpering for more.

He smirked. "You, Brat, are a fool." He turned away, moving across the room, distancing himself from the blonde. This was more to get a restraint on his own feelings than to leave the blonde.

"Sasori…" His name was a breath, floating across the room.

"Parting words should be your next move, Brat." Sasori offered the idea, only two options remained. Either Deidara was leaving, and life would go on. Or he would stay, and Sasori would regret his lack of self control.

"If you keep going on like this, you really will be alone."

_**And I thank you for the pain**_

_**Cause now I can deal with anything**_


	12. The Reason

▼Hoobastank → The Reason

_**And so I have to say before I go  
>That I just want you to know<strong>_

"Do you really want me gone, un?" Deidara had been silent for a moment, and Sasori had questioned whether he was still there.

Sasori didn't bother turning to look at the blonde. He assumed an air of nonchalance, but inside, his heart was pounding, trying to break his chest. He wanted to turn to the blonde, to hold him close, tell him they would move past it. To smother him with love and kiss him until they fell to sleep together. But that wasn't something you did with the person who murdered your family, friends, everyone you knew.

"I know what you're thinking, un," Deidara had stepped closer to Sasori, so when the puppet turned around, he was mildly surprised to see there was barely two feet between them.

Not that he showed his surprise. He didn't show anything, merely looking at the blonde as one would look at floor tiles. Maybe interesting, but not life altering. Surely nothing to spend much time on.

"You don't want me to leave." Deidara hesitated, then took another step closer. "You only want to hate me, you don't really."

Sasori smirked. "Brat, you are wrong. I really insist you leave. If you stay, and your body must be cleared out later, I will not feel guilty for the actions of your murder." It was easier to be biting, sarcastic, than to allow real feelings to show through.

"I don't want to leave you, Sasori No Danna. I'm tired of always running away, un! I want to say what I have to say," His voice rose in frustration, but dropped down to a whisper as he continued. "If you want me to leave after that, I will, un,"

_**But I continue learning  
>I never meant to do those things to you<strong>_

Sasori folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the wall. "Would you like to sit down? Perhaps I should make some tea. Please, make yourself at home." Inside, he felt a searing pain in his chest. Deidara looked so sad, so innocent, so lost. But Sasori wouldn't let that get to him. At least, he wouldn't let it bother him in a way that Deidara would notice.

Deidara shook his head. "Take me seriously, yea." He studied Sasori's muddy brown eyes. "You've killed people. For whatever reasons, you have. And those people have families, families who are lost and hurt without those people." He drew in a deep breath, wondering if that made his point obvious enough.

"Brat, I hardly see where you're going with this. If you wish to talk, spit it out and be gone. Otherwise, simply get out. And if you shall do neither, I have a nice little pois-"

"Wait, No Danna, I am trying, un," Deidara interrupted him. He knew Sasori was impatient at best, and today was the worst. "We're not so different in our actions, yea," He waved a hand at Sasori. "You assassinated people. Maybe for money, maybe for personal reasons, maybe for Akatsuki, you killed people. Me? I killed people for feeling, for passion, for art, un,"

"Brat, do not try to in-"

"Wait, Sasori, un," Deidara waved off the interruption, but secretly, it pleased him. Sasori wasn't so mad that he wouldn't switch topics to argue art with him. But, at the moment, Deidara needed to finish his argument. He had to get Sasori back. "We've both killed people, wounded families-"

"You've made that point perfectly clear, Brat, do you have more?"

"I just got unlucky, No Danna. Out of all those people, I targeted those dear to you. Sasori, it could have been anyone. I could have targeted anyone, it wasn't intentional. I didn't know you, un," He whispered. "I'm sorry, Sasori."

Sasori let his eyes fall shut. Not because he felt disgraced by Deidara's present. Not because he was fighting back tears. But because the raw emotion in Deidara's voice was so obvious. The sorrow etched in his face was tearing at all Sasori's walls. He had to end this quickly, before he welcomed Deidara back.

_**I'm not a perfect person  
>There's many things I wish I didn't do<strong>_

Deidara took another step closer, so that he was close enough to feel the heat from Sasori's body. One shudder, one move, and they would be touching. "I will never kill another person, No Danna, un. I won't touch anyone else. If you won't have me, I'll leave. But I won't go to anyone else. I won't return to my life. I'll live in silent brooding, un, just waiting for you."

Sasori arched a brow. "Brat, that's rather skeptical of you. For someone with such a loud mouth, living in a silent, empty perimeter hardly sounds like you."

"I would do it for you, Sasori. You're the first…the only person I've loved. I refuse to accept that fact that you don't love me back."

Sasori pushed off the wall. His breath brushed across Deidara's skin. "And if I don't?" His words were a harsh whisper of soft breath on Deidara's ear.

Deidara stumbled backwards, almost shocked by the cruelty in the words. "I know I've made mistakes, Sasori, un," He was obviously flustered. "I would give anything to go back and change it all,"

"Would you, Brat? You do know, if you hadn't blown up my village, killed everyone I knew," Sasori paused, giving Deidara enough time to prepare for the ultimate no win situation. "I would never have joined Akatsuki. You would never had met me. How much do you regret blowing up my village knowing that?"

Deidara frowned. "I thought of that, un. But if it would make you happier, to be in your village, without me, then I would wish that."

Sasori stared at the blonde, his expression perfectly unreadable. Inside, he was more confused than ever. Part of his mind screamed to kill the blonde. To end his life now, before he was too far gone to even consider it an option. This boy in front of him was the reason his life had resulted like this. Why couldn't he bring himself to pick up a kunai, a poison, anything, and kill him?  
><em><strong>I've found a reason for me<br>To change who I used to be**_

"I wish I had a jutsu to go back in time." Deidara whispered. He was no longer looking at Sasori, but staring down at his own hands. "I was foolish, un. I never thought of those people. I just wanted to…I don't even know, un! I wasn't wanted. I didn't want anyone else to be happy, to belong somewhere, if I couldn't."

"That's a dumb reason, Brat."

Deidara's head jerked up and he glared at Sasori. "Not like you have a better reason, un!"

Sasori shrugged. "Never said I did." He paused, but continued before the silence could settle. "Wanting to change who you are for a person, that isn't love."

Deidara frowned. "You wouldn't change yourself at all, Sasori, un?"

Sasori paused. "Maybe, but I don't think so. What would I do? If I were to go back in time, return to my village, what would I be now? I hardly see myself staying at home, settling for a family. Even as a ninja, to take orders from some idiot who would be doing an insufficient job running a village…" He shrugged again. "So maybe you did the right thing, ruined my life in the right way."

Deidara's eyes widened. So did this mean he was forgiven? He took a hesitant step towards Sasori.

Sasori smirked. "Don't even think about it, Brat. I'll never know what my life could have been. Now I'm an rouge ninja, no home. No family." He frowned. "Do not expect my thanks."  
><em><strong>I'm sorry that I hurt you<br>It's something I must live with everyday**_  
>"I can't change the past, un," Deidara whispered. "I don't want your gratitude for any of my actions, un."<p>

Sasori arched a brow. "I'm bored with this conversation. I think it's time you leave."

Deidara shook his head. "I'm not finished yet, un,"

"You have said what you came to say. Now, leave. Deidara, I am not one to break my promises."

Deidara stood straighter. Before him wasn't a vengeful, murderous ninja. Standing in front of him was his best friend, the love of his life, the one person he refused to lose.

"You'll have to kill me then, yea,"

Sasori was slightly shocked. Maybe he wasn't being hateful enough? Maybe the blonde really was as stupid as he had originally thought.

_**And all the pain I put you through  
>I wish that I could take it all away<strong>_

Deidara closed the distance between them, so he was nearly chest to chest with Sasori. "If you really hated me, Sasori, I would be dead right now," He whispered. "If you do kill me," He stared directly into Sasori's muddy brown eyes. "Kiss me one last time,"

No sooner had the words left his mouth, Sasori's lips crushed against his own.

Deidara clutched at Sasori's shirt, trying to pull him closer. Sasori buried his fingers in Deidara's hair, tugging on the tangled strands as he battled for dominance.

With a small gasp, bruised lips parted.

_**And be the one who catches all your tears  
>Thats why I need you to hear<strong>_

Gasping for air, Deidara hadn't released his hold on Sasori's shirt. "I love you, Danna, un," He brushed one hand across Sasori's cheek, never looking away from his eyes. "I love you," He whispered again, and he drew in a shaky breath.

He'd went to Sasori's with determination, with fear, with hope. He'd come there to say his words, to win Sasori back. No where in his plans had he scheduled crying. Yet, the tears slowly rolled down his face.

Sasori frowned. "Stupid Brat," He brushed the tears from Deidara's face.

Deidara gave a little sniffle. "You can kill me now."

Sasori arched a brow, almost laughing. "While you cry? You find me that heartless?"

"Oh, Danna," Deidara threw his arms around Sasori, knocking him back against the wall.

Sasori tried to shut off his mind, holding the blonde while he tried to regain composure. He didn't have a plan now. He didn't have anything. The feeling was almost welcoming.

This wouldn't be the first time he's had to change his entire life. To rewrite his goals. To change everything he believed in. But this time, he would have help.  
><em><strong> A reason to start over new<br>and the reason is You**_


	13. JaseyRae

▼All Time Low → Jasey Rae

_**Don't make this easy  
>I want you to mean it<strong>_

"Are you finished?" Sasori drew the blonde back at arms length, holding him by the shoulders.

Deidara nodded slowly, reaching up to wipe the last of the tears away. "I'm sor-"

"I've decided we're done with the apologies."

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

"No," Sasori walked into the kitchen, running a glass of water. "Here,"

Deidara drank the water, frowning. He set the glass down. "Sas-"

Sasori pushed the blonde against the table, capturing his mouth with his own. He pulled away as suddenly as he had approached. "We're done with apologies, and we're done with talking."

Deidara eagerly accepted the kisses from Sasori, nearly shivering with excitement. But it took him a mere moment for his outlook to change. The moment Sasori broke the kiss, Deidara shoved him away.

"What are you-"

"Don't…Don't kiss me." Deidara glared at Sasori. "I don't know what you're thinking. But you're mad at me. And I'm not just going to stand here and let you vent your emotions through me like I'm so doll that you can play with and toss away."

Sasori smirked. "What are you trying to say, Brat?"

"Don't kiss me unless you mean it."

"Mean what?"

"That…That…You have feelings for me, un." Deidara sighed. "That you love me like I love you, yea…"

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"That you love me, Brat. It's a double standard if you think I can't kiss you unless I mean it, but you can throw around that phrase."

"But, Sasori, I do love you, un,"

Sasori placed a hand on the side of Deidara's face, tilting his head up. He claimed his lips gently, passionately. "I mean this, Brat," He whispered, before kissing him again.

_**The common sense and confidence  
>To bring an end to promises<strong>_

Deidara tugged Sasori closer, his kisses becoming feverish, desperate.

Sasori kept moving closer to the blonde, until he was back against the table. He pushed Deidara against it, so he was half sitting, half leaning, his legs locked around Sasori.

The puppet's hands traveled the Blonde's body, tugging his shirt away. As he pulled back to tug the shirt over Deidara's head, his eyes landed on something behind the blonde, on the table.

Deidara pulled Sasori closer, his lips warm on the puppet master's neck, sucking, biting, licking.

Sasori bit back a moan, his nails gently digging into the bomber's back. Deidara arched away, pressing against Sasori.

The puppet's hands left Deidara's body, blindly groping along the table until…yes, his fingers closed around the sharp object. He gripped it tightly.

Deidara frowned lightly. "Are you okay, Sasori?"

In response, Sasori claimed his lips again. "Don't ask stupid questions, Brat."

Deidara smiled at him, blue orbs locked on muddy brown. "I love you, Sasori."

Sasori pressed his lips gently to Deidara's. "Let's move somewhere more comfortable."

Deidara hopped off the table, turning towards the doorway.

"Lead the way," Sasori smirked. The moment Deidara's back was to him, he replaced the object on the table.

Even with the perfect opportunity, he couldn't bring himself to do it. The kunai blade seemed to mock him, its potential laying ignored on the table.

_**I've never told a lie And that makes me a liar  
>I've never made a bet But we gamble in desire<strong>_

"Kiss me," Deidara whispered, his heart pounding in his chest. His mind kept repeating, _this is real, this is real_. All thoughts were silenced when Sasori's lips met his. It was like the first time they kissed, every time they kissed. He couldn't anticipate the electric shock that coursed through his body, the lack of oxygen as the older male stole his breath away.

When they broke apart, Deidara tore Sasori's shirt from his body, tossing it away. "Danna…" He took a second to stare at the toned, tanned skin before attacking it with his mouth. He sucked on his collar bone, trailed kisses across his chest, and licked the small pink nub.

A slight moan that escaped Sasori set Deidara on fire. He wanted him, wanted this. He was desperate for more, every touch setting passion into his skin, an ache that he couldn't grasp, couldn't ease. He had to have more.

"Brat…" Sasori shoved Deidara away, pushing him onto the bed and crawling on him. "I want you," He whispered breathlessly._  
><em>_**I've never lit a match With intent to start a fire  
>But recently the flames Are getting out of control<strong>_

Deidara twisted his fingers into Sasori's hair, tugging him into a kiss. Sasori took this as an opportunity to remove the boy's clothing. In one motion, Deidara found himself completely naked.

He gasped as the air attacked his bare form. "Danna," He moaned, arching up to rub his erection on Sasori's clothed one.

"Brat," Sasori sucked on his neck, biting down gently before moving to give his collar bone the same treatment. "I want to hear you," He swirled his tongue around a hardened pink nub. "I want you to beg me," He kissed down his stomach. "Tell me what you want," He exhaled softly on Deidara's manhood.

"S-Sasori, please," Deidara clutched the bed sheets, wiggling his hips.

Sasori licked the tip. "More, Deidara?"

"More, please," Deidara arched up.

Sasori licked from base to tip, blowing on the wet trail softly. "Like that, Deidara?"

Deidara nodded frantically, then shook his head. "Danna, please," He whined.

Sasori arched a brow. "Tell me, Brat."

"Danna, suck me," He groaned. No sooner had the words left his mouth; Sasori leaned down, taking his member into his mouth. He moved slowly, swirling his tongue and sliding his teeth along the shaft.

"Faster," Deidara arched his hips. His fingers twisted in the sheets, knuckles white.

Sasori smirked, following orders, his head bobbing quickly.

Deidara's moans filled the air, accompanied by heavy breathing. "Danna…M-More,"

Sasori quickened his pace, a free hand wondering up to tweak the blonde's nipples.

Deidara arched off the bed, crying out as his vision turned white.

Sasori swallowed and licked any drops clear from Deidara's manhood.  
><em><strong>These images that fill my head<br>Now keep my fingers from making mistakes**_

Deidara lay, shuddering, trying to regain his breath. "Sasori…" He released the sheets, tugging the red head closer weakly. He pressed his lips to the older male's, tasting himself on the bruised lips. It was salty and warm. He pulled away, licking his lips. "We have a small problem," He whispered, smiling.

"What's that, Brat?" From his view point, the blonde had been rather pleased. How could there be a problem?

Deidara shoved Sasori, quickly moving so he was on top. "I think this is the problem," He whispered, his leg gently pressing between Sasori's thighs.

Sasori arched up, a moan trapped in his throat. Deidara grinned at the reaction, pressing his partner's hips back down against the bed. "Be patient," Deidara chided, smirking seductively.

Sasori wasn't known for his patience, and wasn't about to have the brat remind him of the fact. Contraire to the demands, he arched his hips again.

Deidara slid his hands down Sasori's chest, sliding them just under the waist band of his pants, balancing on his knees. He slid the pants down to Sasori's knees, felt the puppet kicking them off.

"Excited?" Deidara teased, wrapping one hand along the pulsating member.

Sasori didn't respond, knowing a single word would be turned into a moan, and he wasn't going to give Deidara that pleasure.

Deidara smirked, almost guessing Sasori's thoughts. He moved his hand slowly, teasingly. "Watch me, Danna," He stared into Sasori's lust coated eyes.

He shifted backwards and lowered his head, gently sucking the tip as his hand continued to move, not losing eye contact.

Sasori arched his hips up suddenly, forcing his entire length into Deidara's mouth. Deidara swallowed around the intrusion.

The contraction of muscles around his sensitive area tore a moan from Sasori's throat.

That one noise was enough to excite Deidara, and his slow, teasing motions were traded for desperate, excited motions. The combination of tongue, teeth, and pressure sent Sasori over the edge, arching up and biting his lip to muffle the groan that still managed to escape.

Deidara swallowed, licking the mess clean.

_**Tell my voice what it takes  
>To speak up, Speak up<strong>_

Sasori waited for the brat to crawl back up to him, locking lips again. The mixture of flavors was odd, but tantalizing. He broke the kiss, gasping for air.

Deidara smiled. "Not tired already, are you, Danna, un?"

Sasori smirked. "I don't think I was watching you right. Could you demonstrate those talents again?" He held three fingers in front of Deidara's mouth.

Deidara sucked on them gently, twirling his finger over and around the digits. When Sasori took them from his mouth, he changed positions.

"Anxious, Brat?" Sasori inserted a finger into Deidara's hole, waiting barely a second before adding another.

Deidara jerked slightly, but was calmed as Sasori's lips met his. He distracted him with kisses as he added the third finger, carefully searching for-

"Ah!" Deidara broke the kiss as he moaned. "Danna…" His fingers dug into the puppet's back.

Sasori struck the spot again, smirking at the reaction. He slid his fingers out, Deidara groaning in disapproval.

"Ready, Brat?" He didn't wait for the reply, sliding in completely.

Deidara jerked away, hissing at the intrusion and sudden pain.

Sasori brushed blonde locks away from his forehead, placing a gentle kiss in their place. "Tell me when,"

Deidara nodded hesitantly, his fingers digging into the soft skin.

Sasori slid out and slammed in, aiming for the spot he knew would take the pain away.

Deidara arched off the bed, moaning loudly. "Danna, again,"

Sasori was quick to comply, thrusting in, pulling nearly out, and repeating.

"Harder, un" Deidara panted.

Sasori braced himself, fingers digging into thin hips as he slammed in over and over.

"Danna, faster," Deidara begged, his nails digging tiny rivets into Sasori's back.

They had no pattern, simply slamming and arching, lost in wave after wave of pleasure.

Sasori released his grip on Deidara with one hand, wrapping it around his neglected manhood. With fast paced strokes that didn't match the thrusting, he slid his hand over the leaking member.

Deidara cried out in moans, breathing heavy. "Danna, un," He moaned loudly, digging his nails in tighter as he released, coating both of their sweating bodies.

The muscles contracting around Sasori was too much, and he followed quickly, filling Deidara with his seed.  
><em><strong>That my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath<br>And my words are as timed as the beating in my chest**_

Sasori pulled out of Deidara, dropping, panting, beside the blonde.

"Danna…" Deidara ignored the mess, cuddling close to his partner. "I love you, un" He whispered, pressing his lips to Sasori's throat.

Sasori tilted the bomber's face up, kissing him gently. "I love you, too, Brat."

Deidara smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling. A stabbing pain in his leg stole his attention, and he stared in confusion at the kunai, dripping purple, half dug in his leg.

"But I can't forgive you." Sasori whispered. He pressed his lips to the blonde's one last time, pulling away in time to watch the light fade from his eyes as they fell shut.


End file.
